Wilting Lilies
by Lily Anna Evans Potter
Summary: Lily survived the attack on Godric's Hollow, this story describes her struggle to move on from James and raise the Boy Who Lived. Will she find happiness again? Read this to find out! Update 31.1.11 This story is officially abandoned, sorry!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Universe belongs entirely to JKR!**

Halloween day of 1981 dawned bright and sunny in the small wizarding community of Godric's Hollow. Nothing in the village's cheery atmosphere hinted that there was in fact an extremely evil Dark wizard at large, or that aforementioned wizard had his heart set on murdering the only child of the most well-liked family in the entire village.

The day started out just like any other for the Potter's, Lily was woken in the early hours of the morning by agitated wails, coming from across the landing. What did Harry have against the concept of a good night's sleep, she asked herself after determining that it was only four o' clock in the morning. By the look of things, she'd have to deal with whatever was bothering her son on her own, because for the first time ever, James hadn't even heard Harry's cries.

She glanced at him and smiled, he was still out like a light, snoring slightly with his mouth hanging open. Ever since they'd gone into hiding, he seemed to study defensive theories diligently every night and she could tell the constant worrying was catching up with him. He'd always been fiercely protective of her, but that determination to keep the family safe had multiplied tenfold since Harry was born.

An increase in the volume of her son's cries brought Lily out of her musings. With a resigned sigh, she got up, stretched and shuffled towards the nursery, still blinking blearily. She pushed open the pale blue door of Harry's nursery and looked around. Her son was standing in his crib, hanging onto the safety bars for support. It looked like he'd been standing there for a while already; he pouted at her as she entered and his lower lip quivered slightly.

Like father like son, was the first thought that came to her mind when she saw the little drama king putting on an annoyed sulk just for her. Though the eyes which were gradually filling with unshed crocodile tears were exact replicas of her own, everything else about the way he was looking at her brought to mind images of James doing the exact same thing.

Approaching the crib deliberately slowly, she joked; "Yes my little prince, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

A voice from the doorway distracted her; "Hey Flower, stop messing with my son!" Smiling to herself, she scooped Harry up and turned around. Sure enough, James was leaning casually against the doorframe, giving her a mock-stern look.

Bouncing Harry up and down in her arms, she moved back towards him. "Morning love, he really is your son, you should have seen the spectacular pout he was giving me a minute ago!" She smirked slyly and added; "It reminded me of someone."

He grinned mischievously and pulled her into a hug; "Oh really, do I know this particular _someone_?" She pretended to deliberate her answer and responded mock-seriously; "I think so."

Still smiling, he leaned forward and pecked her on the cheek, making her giggle like a schoolgirl. She would never understand why he still had that effect on her, even after being married for more than a year. "I love you Lils!" he whispered flirtatiously in her ear.

Smacking him lightly, she responded; "Back at you honey, but you still need to back off, you're squashing Harry!"

At that, James looked down at the toddler, who was now gurgling contentedly in Lily's arms; apparently he had achieved his goal of getting both his parents out of bed before dawn. He chuckled and ruffled Harry's messy hair affectionately; "Hey champ, are you excited for your first official Halloween celebration?"

Lily rolled her eyes impatiently; the small Halloween bash they were throwing later that day was all James thought about recently. Admittedly, even she was glad for the rare opportunity to see their friends again, but at least she didn't expect her one year old son to understand the significance of this day for all wizards and witches. Then again, James was only looking forward to it because it had been so long since the Marauders had all been together and today they were all coming to celebrate.

"James, I hope you don't think he actually understands why you're so hyped up today! He's a year old for heaven's sake!"

James pretended to look affronted; "Lily my love, don't you dare question Harry's intelligence; he's a Potter after all!"

She nodded and replied jokingly; "I know that's why I worry! With you and Sirius having so much influence in his life, no good can come of it! He's doomed to a future as a Marauder!"

James grinned proudly; "I am well aware of that Flower and I'm glad you've accepted it as a fact of life so quickly!" He gave her an approving nod, just as Harry started to whimper once more.

Lily focused her attention on her son again; "Are you hungry now Harry?" By way of answer, the toddler continued to whimper and stuck his thumb in his mouth. "I think that's a yes" she said with a decisive smile. She turned back to her husband; "Do you want to join us in the kitchen or go back to bed, Jamie?"

He stared at her incredulously; "Are you kidding, Lils? How can I sleep when my two favorite people in the world are up and about?"

She giggled; "Alright honey, I get the picture; it was just a suggestion because I know how late you were up last night!"

He grinned sheepishly and mumbled; "Yeah, well I worry about you both, you know that Flower!"

She nodded gently; "I do know that sweetheart, but I'm worried about _you_ too; I don't think you're sleeping enough because you're always studying theories late into the night."

He shook his head fiercely; "I do that because it will help me to keep you safe Lils, I'd do anything to protect you!"

She couldn't hold back an exasperated sigh now; "You are a stubborn git sometimes Potter, you know that right?"

He nodded wearily; "I know Flower, I know!" Their argument was broken up as Harry wailed in earnest; "Mama, Harry want food!" She looked amused at how insistent her son could be and carried him down the stairs, with James following not far behind.

That was the beginning of the end of the Potters' peaceful existence. That evening, not long after a roaring party had been wrapped up, the attack that would change their lives forever, commenced.


	2. The Attack

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Jo Rowling does!**

James was alone in the living room, while Lily was putting Harry to bed. He had convinced her to let their son stay up longer in honor of Halloween, but even parties had their limits. After their friends had gone, he had entertained Harry for a while by producing puffs of colored smoke with his wand. But when the toddler had actually begun to cry from sheer exhaustion and overexcitement, Lily had put her foot down and taken him to bed, leaving James alone with the uneasy gut feeling that danger was nearing.

As if to turn these fears into reality, there was a sudden bang like a gunshot and the front door was blasted off its hinges; a figure shrouded in black crept into the hallway. With no doubt in his mind as to the identity of the eerily mysterious person, James yelled automatically; "Run Lily! Take Harry and go right now, it's Him!" He tried hard to control the panic in his voice, because he knew Voldemort would be able to sense it.

The latter smirked as he glided into the living room; "Potter, it's good to see you again but it would be easier for all of us if you would just step aside. You are a pure-blood and you need not get hurt, all you have to do is let me go up those stairs!"

James stared incredulously at his advancing opponent, even as he backed towards the staircase. The man was crazier than he thought if he was under the impression that he, James, would let him get anywhere near Lily and Harry without a fight! When he couldn't back up any further, James hesitated only for a split second, before turning abruptly and racing up the stairs as fast as his legs would carry him.

Though obviously surprised by the sudden movement, Voldemort didn't hesitate to follow him. James began firing Stunners over his shoulder as he ran, though evidently none of them met their mark, because he could still hear the stealthy footsteps in his wake. Several green flashes told him very plainly just how ticked off Voldemort was, and so he didn't stop running until he had slammed and locked the nursery door behind him.

Almost at once, he found himself face to face with Lily. There was pure fear and anxiety written all over her expression, a sight he sincerely hoped never to see again. "What's going on Jamie?" she asked, clutching his hand fearfully. James swallowed hard, desperately trying to pull together the nerve to tell her that she had to save herself and Harry, even though a major part of him already knew she would never agree.

A distant crash gave him the push he needed to speak his mind at that moment, urgently he said; "Lils, it's Him! You have to take Harry and leave while you still can!"

Her eyes widened and she let go of his hand abruptly; "Are you crazy? Honey, there's no way on earth I'm going to leave you to face that monster alone!"

James sighed, he had known she would react like this, but it was crucial that she survive, for Harry's sake and for his own peace of mind. He hated putting her at risk and she knew that, then why did she have to argue so much?

"Flower please, I can handle that git on my own, but you have to go! Just think of Harry, he needs you!" he begged frantically, knowing they didn't have much time before Voldemort succeeded in breaking down the nursery door as well.

But Lily was adamant; "No James, we're in this together! That's how it's always been and that's how it'll stay, do you understand me?" James didn't answer, at that moment there was a resounding crash and the nursery door was demolished. Harry wailed in fright, as he and Lily glanced at each other and took up their places in front of the crib, shielding their son from view.

Voldemort sneered at the sight of them standing there so protectively; "Isn't that a pretty picture? I do hate to tear families apart, but you two leave me with no alternative. You will not defy Lord Voldemort again!"

No sooner were the words out of his mouth, than Voldemort initiated the duel; "Crucio!" he cried, pointing his wand at James with a look of purest loathing on his face. "You had your chance to escape Potter, now I will happily send you the same way as your foolish parents instead!" But James merely straightened up and glowered angrily at him, having ducked in the nick of time.

"Don't you dare talk about my parents like that, Voldemort!" he yelled, shaking with suppressed rage. Lily reached over and squeezed his hand comfortingly, causing Voldemort to turn to her instead.

"Oh, my apologies Mrs. Potter, would you like some of this as well?" Smirking maliciously, he directed his wand straight at her and cast the Cruciatus curse once more, and she, having been too busy comforting James, didn't get out of the way in time.

James felt his heart skip a beat at the sound of her bloodcurdling shrieks of pain. As it happened, his shocked state was the exact reaction Voldemort had been hoping for. While it was true that he had promised his most loyal follower, Severus Snape, that he would not kill Lily, he believed that all Mudbloods deserved pain and torture.

Having made sure that Lily was now in enough pain not to be of any help to her husband, Voldemort rounded on James abruptly and uttered the worst incantation of them all; "Avada Kedavra!" Lily watched in horror as James' expression froze and his body seemed to crumple to the ground in slow motion.

Doing her utmost to ignore the shooting pain coursing through her body, Lily staggered to her feet. Breathing heavily, she hung onto the rails of Harry's crib for support and faced Voldemort, trying not to let him notice how close to tears she was.

The latter tried coaxing her to move; "Come now, Mudblood! Step aside and you may leave unharmed. I am a reasonable man and I only want your son!"

But Lily stood her ground, a defiant glint in her eyes; "You'll never lay a finger on my baby for as long as I live!" she yelled, attempting to sound braver than she felt. After all, she was now facing the most evil wizard on earth, completely alone. Harry's frightened whimpers behind her, fueled her strength and determination, else she was certain she would have given up all hope.

Having lost patience with the stubborn girl, Voldemort pushed her roughly away from the crib. Taken by surprise, she tripped over the edge of the rug and landed next to James' body on the ground. She was forced to watch as Voldemort approached the crib with a triumphant look on his face. She couldn't even get back on her feet, since her fall had been at an awkward angle and her left ankle was suddenly throbbing very painfully, in addition to the pain in the rest of her body.

Unable to watch the murder of her son, she rolled over and buried her face in James' chest that simple action was agonizing as well, because it only confirmed that_ he_ was really dead. Even though he had fallen before her eyes, she had been in denial until that moment. Vaguely she registered the Avada Kedavra being performed in the distance, but then a miracle happened.

There was a loud bang and Voldemort vanished in a puff of smoke. Harry meanwhile, was still gurgling in his crib, just as the entire building began to shake and crumble. In desperation, Lily pulled James' body across her; at least he could protect her one last time.

It seemed like seconds later that the roof above her gave way; reacting instinctively Lily brought her arms up to her head and shut her eyes. It was all over before it could really sink in what had happened. Now Harry was crying for her; gingerly Lily popped her eyes open and crawled out from under James' corpse. Despite being dead, he had effectively saved her life she thought bitterly, the irony of the situation wasn't lost on her.

The pain in her ankle was getting worse with every passing minute and she was lucky in a way that Harry's crib had tipped over with the force of the backfiring spell, so she could reach him. Gently she pulled the terrified toddler close to her, making soothing noises as he whimpered, even though she was in physical and emotional agony herself.

Technically, all she could do was to wait for someone to find them, since Apparating in her condition was out of the question and she wouldn't have left James behind, even if she had been capable of movement without help.

To Lily, it seemed like an eternity later that she heard an engine revving somewhere above her. Since it was the first sound to break the scary silence since the roof had collapsed on her, she rolled over awkwardly and cuddled closer to James' ice-cold corpse. Harry crawled around her head and clambered onto his fathers' chest, just like he used to do at bedtime. The sight broke Lily's heart, even though it had barely begun to sink in that the love of her life lay dead beside her.

Lily felt indescribable relief, as the revving engine seemed to sputter and die just outside the ruins of what had been their happy household mere hours ago. Summoning the last of her strength, she hammered hard on the debris above her with her fists, yelling for all she was worth. "Help, somebody please help! I'm under here!"


	3. Rescue from the Rubble

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K Rowling does!**

Almost immediately, she heard frantic footsteps approaching and then the rubble above her was miraculously levitated away. Her breathing eased up instantly and she gratefully accepted the hand of her savior, which pulled her out of the ruin easily. It took her a moment to get her bearings, but once she did, she realized that it was none other Sirius who had saved her.

He was staring at her, in a way that suggested he hadn't expected to find any survivors in the rubble. "Oh Merlin Lils, are you alright?"

Exhausted though she was that foolish question dissolved any and all self-restraint she possessed. "Do I look alright?" she asked shakily, before collapsing against his shoulder and sobbing helplessly.

Sirius was in a state of shock, Lily never lost control of her emotions so drastically, and Voldemort's attack must have had horrible side effects if she was so upset. Holding her tightly, he asked cautiously; "Did all of you make it out alive?" Regrettably, his words didn't help her calm down, then again, he was as yet blissfully unaware of his best friends' death.

A wail from under one of the fallen rafters reminded Lily, that while_ her_ shock and grieving was an ordeal indeed, her feelings were nothing in comparison to what her son had been through, he needed her more than ever now. But the second she let go of Sirius; she swayed dangerously and would have collapsed, had he not been holding her hand. It was lucky he had expected this and held onto her, firmly forcing her sit on the ground while he pulled Harry out of the ruin.

"Sirius wait!" she pleaded desperately. She couldn't let Sirius find James dead in such a brutal fashion, what kind of friend would she be if she let him do this?

But it was too late, moments later there was a heart-wrenching howl of grief; "No, _NO _tell me I'm not seeing this, please not Prongs!"

He staggered backwards and blindly handed Harry to her, she felt terrible; she should have told him what happened before he went to bring Harry to safety. Even as the pain and regret filled her up, he'd already grabbed James' corpse and dragged it out of harm's way, not a moment too soon.

Seconds later, the rest of the building crumbled, leaving nothing but dust and rubble where the Potter house once stood. As she watched their house fall apart, Lily was painfully reminded of the first time she had crossed its threshold, bridal style.

"_Here we are Mrs. Potter, home sweet home!" James smiled at the sight of her gaping awe-struck at the little cottage. It wasn't particularly large, but it had a homely atmosphere about it, which was what she had always wanted. "Judging by your expression, I take it you approve?" he joked, as she turned to him at last with tears of joy sparkling in her eyes._

_She nodded mutely and gave him a bear-hug. "It's amazing Jamie, I love it!" He grinned at her; "If you like the outside so much, just wait till you see the inside!" She nodded eagerly and took a step down the path, but he put an arm out to stop her; "Where's your sense of romance Lils? That's not the way to do it!" he said reproachfully, before sweeping her of her feet and carrying her down the path and through the front door. She nestled against his shoulder and murmured happily; "Your sense of romance is good enough for both of us, Mr. Potter."_

She was distracted from the painful memory by a moan, looking around, she realized Sirius had sunk to the ground beside her and was now sitting motionlessly with his head in hands. Upon crawling towards him to try and provide a source of comfort, she heard him mumbling; "You broke your promise Prongs, how could you?"

Gently she forced him to look at her; "What are you talking about Sirius?" she asked curiously. As soon as she saw the pain in his eyes however, the answer suddenly became unimportant.

Awkwardly she gave him what she hoped was a comforting hug and then backed off and resorted to holding her son close, Sirius was too shattered to comfort her and she needed some form of solace too, no matter how strong she tried to be. Although Harry was now a living reminder of her lost love, she was extremely grateful for his survival, though unaware that she was the reason for it.

Her attention turned abruptly back to Sirius when he gasped and clutched the front pocket of his robes; "Lil, the Order coin just glowed, I'm needed at Headquarters, can I help you get anywhere?" he asked quickly.

She thought for a moment, she didn't want him to leave her, but she knew the Order had to come first. Finally she said; "Can you take me to Surrey? Tuney will help me!"

He stared at her incredulously; "Are you sure about that Lils? She doesn't seem to be on such great terms with you, ever since Voldemort killed your parents!" She nodded confidently; Petunia wouldn't turn her own sister away in this condition, would she? She snapped out of her thoughts to see Sirius holding his hand out to her. She took it gratefully and got to her feet with a groan, the pain in her ankle was quickly becoming unbearable.

Vaguely she registered Sirius asking her if she wanted to carry Harry or hang onto James' body while he Apparated. In response, she mutely reached for James' hand and kissed his stiff, cold fingertips with tears already welling up in her eyes. Sirius understood her sentiments completely, so he hugged Harry close with one hand, while squeezing Lily's free hand with the other and then vanished with a pop.


	4. Because we are Sisters

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K Rowling does!**

A few seconds later, the strange party arrived in front of the perfectly kept garden of Nr. 4 Privet Drive, the house where Petunia Evans-Dursley now resided. One look at Lily's pale visage told Sirius that he'd have to be the one to make their presence known.

He gulped, if Petunia disliked her sister, it was nothing compared to how she felt about him. The summer after their graduation from Hogwarts, Lily had invited all the Marauders to spend a few days at her house and he in particular, used to delight in transforming, just to annoy Petunia.

Hoping she wouldn't slam the door in his face, he approached the front door and knocked cautiously. All too soon, the door opened to reveal Petunia, wrestling with a chubby toddler who looked about Harry's age. "No Duddykins, let go of Mummy's hair!" Her jaw dropped as she succeeded in yanking her blonde locks out of the screaming infants grasp and set him down, only to notice the unwelcome visitor on her doorstep.

"B-Black, how dare you come here!" she spluttered furiously when she had gotten over the shock of seeing him standing there.

"I'm not here because I want to be, I assure you Petunia!" he snapped waspishly in response. "I'm here because your sister needs help and she, unfortunately, trusts that you'll be there for her in her time of need, meaning now!"

Petunia paled visibly as her gaze traveled to the garden gate, against which Lily was now leaning heavily, her expression screwed up in agony. "What happened?" she asked slowly, as if she was still processing the sight before her: Her sister nearing tears as she leaned against her garden gate and her brother in-law lying dead on the ground, not to mention her cursed nephew, who was wailing as he pulled on the corpses fingers, to no avail.

Sirius didn't answer; he was temporarily too busy helping Lily limp up to her sister. "Lilsy what happened?" she repeated more urgently this time, it was clear that something horrific had recently happened to her sister, one didn't need to see the barely unshed tears swimming in the latter's eyes to know that much.

She grabbed her sister around the shoulders and supported her across the threshold of her house, with Sirius following carrying Harry. By this time Lily really had broken down, a mixture of sorrow, relief and exhaustion threatening to overwhelm her. Even through the whirlwind of emotions, the first thing she said when Petunia pushed her down on the couch was; "What about James?"

Sirius watched her sympathetically; "Lily, there's nothing more you can do for him! I'll take the body to Headquarters with me now; Dumbledore will know where you should go from here!"

She nodded, just as her sister snapped; "Black! I still haven't been told what the hell happened, is anyone going to enlighten me?"

Sirius turned wearily to her and sighed; "If Lily feels up to it, she'll explain; I really have to go now!" then he gave Lily a quick hug and said gently; "You take care of yourself Lil, I'll see you at Headquarters later." Before Petunia could protest, he was gone; she turned instead to her sister.

"Voldemort found us!" the latter choked out in response to her sisters' questioning gaze. "Our house is nothing more than dust now and James is -". She stopped there and gave a strangled sob, but she didn't need to utter the word in order for her sister to know what James was. She had seen the body with her own eyes after all.

Awkwardly, she sat down next to Lily and put an arm around her, what could she say to her? She'd shunned and ignored her sister ever since their parents had been murdered by the very same wizard who had now killed James, she seriously marveled at her sister for even thinking of coming here, of all places! Not that she minded, because the truth was; she had missed her baby sister terribly.

"Are you hurt Lils?" she asked slowly at last. Gradually Lily stopped crying and met her gaze; "Yeah," she replied equally slowly; "When Voldemort tried to kill Harry, he just pushed me out of the way. I tripped over the rug in Harry's nursery and my ankle's been aching ever since."

"Maybe I should take a look at it?" Petunia suggested gently. Lily nodded and leaned down to pull her jeans out of the way, wincing as she did so. Petunia knelt at her sisters' feet and applied gentle pressure to the swollen ankle. "Does this hurt?" she asked, Lily nodded, her lips pressed together against the pain. "I'll be right back!" Petunia promised, as she hurried upstairs to get a bandage.

The second she reached the landing however, she heard a car in the driveway; _"Oh no, Vernon's home!" _she thought desperately. He despised Lily and there would certainly be trouble now. Sure enough, seconds later there was an angry bellow; "_YOU!_ What the hell are you doing in my house, freak!"

His exclamation was followed by Lily's voice, at the sound of its pleading tone, Petunia felt terrible; "Please Vernon, our home was attacked! I came here because my sister and son are all I have left!"

Knowing her husband well enough, to know that he wouldn't be impressed by her sisters' case, Petunia raced downstairs; forgetting about the bandage completely.

At the sound of her pounding footsteps, Vernon rounded on the staircase. "Petunia dear, would _you_ care to explain what your sister is doing here!" he asked in a dangerously low voice.

Petunia shot her sister a desperately apologetic look, before she said coldly; "As she told you, their home was attacked. Potter is dead and there is one less freak in the world at least!" She felt slightly sick at the smile of satisfaction that lit up Vernon's features at her words.

"Excellent!" he proclaimed gleefully and went to fix himself a drink to celebrate, but Petunia barely heard him; she had eyes only for her younger sister as the latter sobbed in anguish.

Slowly she approached the couch and tentatively laid a hand on Lily's shoulder. "I'm so sorry Lilsy! You know Vernon, he gets violent when I don't agree with him and so I had to say that!"

"I know Tuney," the muffled voice of her sister assured her after a momentary silence. Petunia was about to heave a sigh of relief, when Lily added; "But just _my_ knowing that you don't really mean it doesn't lessen the pain those words bring on, can't Vernon at least stop insulting James now? I mean, he's dead for pity's sake, after giving his life for me doesn't he deserve to rest in peace?" Her sisters' little speech broke Petunia's heart; she pulled her sister upright and wiped away the latter's stray tears with her thumbs.

"Listen Lily, I may not have liked James very much, but Vernon's reaction was way out of line! I agree with you, he should really leave James alone now, but you know he'd freak out if I so much as suggested such a thing!"

Lily sighed heavily and nodded; "I know that, it's just, I still can't believe he's really gone!" Lily didn't to say his name for her sister to know that she was talking about James. Petunia glanced around to make sure Vernon was nowhere nearby and then pulled Lily closer and let her cry her heart out, while she, Petunia, made gentle shushing noises, just like she used to when they were young girls.

"So, what's your next move anyway?" Petunia asked carefully, once Lily had calmed down enough to speak.

Her sister looked at her through puffy, swollen, bloodshot eyes and answered tremulously; "I'll leave here soon, I really need to talk to Dumbledore about everything that's happened recently."

Petunia tried and failed not to look disapproving; "Are you sure that's a good idea Lily? I mean, no offense but you look positively ill!" she declared skeptically.

Lily simply nodded wearily; "I _feel_ exhausted and weak too Tuney, but this has to be done! Harry's not safe here, Voldemort may be gone, but his followers are still out there and they want my baby dead!"

With those words, she gritted her teeth fiercely and hobbled towards Harry, who was sitting on the ground whimpering. Unable to watch her baby sister causing herself so much pain, Petunia beat her to it and picked Harry up quickly; "So Lil? Where are you headed anyway?" she asked, fixing her sister with an intense gaze.

"I'm going to Headquarters of the secret society founded by Dumbledore." she explained shortly, before adding urgently; "Now give Harry to me! I must leave this instant!" Although she would never say it out loud, privately Petunia felt that James' stubborn edge had rubbed off on Lily in their time together. Reluctantly, she handed her nephew over and watched helplessly as Lily vanished with a pop.


	5. Grief and Accusations

**Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns Harry Potter, I do not!**

Sirius meanwhile, had long since arrived back at his childhood home, which now served as Headquarters to the Order. He hesitated at the front door, simply because there were countless people in that house at this very moment, who would be shattered to learn of James' death. What seemed like an eternity later, he raised a shaking hand and tentatively lifted the serpent-shaped doorknocker.

All at once, he found himself stepping over the threshold of the house without waiting for someone to answer the door. He couldn't handle the overwhelming pain that came from standing there motionlessly, on his own. Unfortunately, the very first person he saw upon entering the house was the one he'd hoped to avoid until later: Jessica Parker, James' closest childhood friend and the girl who had secretly loved him through their entire time at Hogwarts.

"There you are Sirius!" she exclaimed, apparently not noticing anything strange at first; "Albus issued a call to your Order coin ages ago, where have you been? Oh that's right, you were probably checking on Lily and Ja-!" he clapped a hand over her mouth to stop the incessant chatter, Jessica was renowned for her big mouth, but he really wasn't in the mood for it at the moment.

"Listen to me Jess! Voldemort attacked Godric's Hollow and now James is dead!"

Jessica's eyes widened as he let go of her. "No," she moaned desperately; "No, not Jamie! Please Sirius, say it's not true!" she pleaded as her eyes filled up.

He was suddenly beyond all reason; harshly he produced the body from behind him and asked angrily; "Does this look like a lie to you?" She took one look at the corpse and fled, sobbing agonizingly the entire time.

Almost as soon as she was out of sight, he cursed himself for being so heartless. Obviously he was upset at the loss of his best friend, but there had been no need for him to take his feelings out on Jessica, what had she ever done to him?

Feeling disgusted with himself, Sirius grabbed James' corpse and dragged it into the living room where the rest of the Order was waiting. There was a collective gasp of dismay at the sight of the body, but Sirius' eyes strayed directly to Jessica, she was sitting with her head resting on her elder sister Nora's shoulder and weeping in clear distress.

Sirius scrutinized his own two feet in shame as Nora glowered at him, but she held back any insults she wanted to throw at him after one calming glance from her old headmaster's electric blue eyes. Moments later, Remus got to his feet and approached Sirius, shaking him out of his guilty reverie; "Where are Lily and Harry?" he asked his friend gently, yet with an urgent edge to his voice.

Sirius shook his head in an effort to shake himself out of his current daze and answered vaguely; "Lily wanted to go to her sister for help. She'll come soon!" Many of the Order members looked shocked at his revelation; they all knew that Petunia was a Muggle and that she strongly disliked her sister.

Before any of them could say a word however, there was a thud in the corridor, followed almost immediately by a child's cries. Upon hearing the noises in the hallway, Sirius and Remus went to investigate, only to return moments later; Remus supporting Lily's every step and Sirius carrying his wailing godson.

As soon as Remus let go of Lily, she collapsed on all fours and crawled over to her husband's body. Fresh tears made their way steadily down her flushed cheeks as she leaned over James and tenderly wiped a trickle of blood from his face.

Brought out of _her_ shock by Lily's sobs, Jessica finally pulled out of her sister's comforting embrace and joined her friend on the ground, the rest of the room could only look on in silence, as the two girls who had loved James the most, turned to each other for comfort.

"Lily?" a kindly, familiar voice said her name eventually, making Lily look up for the first time. It was Madam Pomfrey; gently she pulled the distraught girl to her feet once more. Carefully she pulled her towards the couch and made her sit down; "Come on dearie, let's have a look at you!"

"No," she wailed desperately; "I'm fine, all I need is Jamie, please!"

Sirius intervened at that moment; "Lily, please listen to Poppy! You have to learn to let go of James now, it's over!" Madam Pomfrey saw her chance to fix up Lily's minor sprain, while the former was busy glaring daggers at Sirius.

"There, you see; that didn't take long, did it?" she asked, smiling slightly. Lily had been too busy arguing with Sirius to even notice her administrations.

She looked down at her foot in mild surprise; "Thanks Poppy," she said gratefully at last. Seconds later however, her attention snapped back to Sirius and her voice lowered menacingly as she said; "Padfoot, I've got a bone to pick with you and I'm not injured anymore so you better be careful of your argument! Just answer me this one question; how? How can you of all people tell me to let James go? Don't you love him just as much as I do, hmm?"

Sirius' head snapped up at her accusing tone, his voice shook with anger as he said; "Never say that again, understand? You don't even know the half of what James meant to me you foolish girl, I'm just trying to be sensible, unlike you!"

Unable to bear the emotional tension any longer, Sirius got up and ran from the room, ignoring Jessica and Remus' attempts to stop him. Jess rounded on Lily; "Was that really necessary Lil? Even you know that nothing you just said was true!"

Lily swallowed the lump in her throat with difficulty and shook her head slowly; "I don't know where that anger was coming from, I have to find him!" She stood up so fast that the whole room started spinning and she was forced to sit down again.

Noticing this, Jessica grabbed Lily's hand firmly and reasoned; "I don't think you're in any condition to go anywhere right now Lily, even if you were strong enough to go, Harry needs his mother right now! If anyone goes looking for Sirius, it'll be me or Remus, understand?"

Lily slumped against the cushions behind her and nodded reluctantly. She knew Jess was right on both counts, she was too weak to leave the house at that moment and Harry did need her around after everything he had been through that day. Having thought her friends' advice through, she said finally; "Just promise me you'll go soon, I feel so guilty right now, I need him to come back!"

Jessica nodded hurriedly; "Don't you worry Lil, we'll go right now! Even we want to find Sirius before he does something foolish; you know how rash he is." With that she hugged her friend one last time 

and then she and Remus headed out the door, leaving Lily with nothing to distract her from her guilty and miserable thoughts.


	6. Padfoot's Pain

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K Rowling does!**

Once outside, Jessica turned to Remus anxiously; "Moony, where do you think Sirius would go when he's upset, because I honestly have no idea!" Remus hesitated for a moment, actually he knew exactly where Sirius went at times like this, but he had a feeling that particular place would be upsetting for Jessica under the circumstances.

"Maybe I should go alone Jess," he suggested tentatively, already knowing she wouldn't agree to that. Sure enough, she was fixing him with such an incredulous gaze it was almost comical; "Why on earth would you want to do something like this alone Moony?"

He thought for a moment, wondering how best to explain without upsetting her, when no good way of phrasing his reasoning came to mind, he said shortly; "Let's just say Sirius and James were more alike than they realized, I'm sure you remember where James used to go when he wanted to be alone, right?"

She nodded and said; "Of course I remember he always went to his parents' burial site when he was upset!" Almost as soon as she'd said the words, something clicked in her mind; "Wait a minute, are you saying that Sirius is at the cemetery right now?"

Remus nodded gravely; "I'm almost one hundred percent sure of it! He loved the Potters a hundred times more than he did his own parents and after they were murdered he visited the graves as regularly as James did."

Jess swallowed hard, he had been right to try and discourage her from going, her own parents had been murdered not long after the Potters and were buried very close to them. This was not going to be as easy as she thought. Shaking herself mentally, she blinked a few times and said slowly; "No, Sirius needs all the support he can get right now, I'm going with you!"

"Are you sure?" he asked, watching her in concern. She nodded firmly; "Of course I'm sure Moony, now stop arguing and let's go you're wasting time!"

"If you say so," he replied with a doubtful expression, before taking her hand and Apparating to Godric's' Hollow. When the suffocating sensation had passed, Jessica opened her eyes and gasped; she had forgotten that Lily and James' house was directly opposite the graveyard. Seeing it sprung upon her in this ruined state was heartbreaking, Sirius hadn't told them in detail how he found Lily yet, but even without knowing what really happened her imagination started painting horrific images in her mind.

Forcing back the painful lump forming in her throat, she turned her back on the ruin of the cottage and moved towards the cemetery gate. Remus broke out of the miserable reverie the sight of the house had sent him into and hurried after her.

"Hey! Slow down Jessie, what's the rush?" The minute she heard his voice, Jessica quickly wiped away the tears that had successfully got the better of her and stopped in her tracks, waiting for him to catch up with her.

"Sorry," she said in a strained voice; "I just wasn't expecting to see the house like that so suddenly, I honestly forgot they lived right opposite the graveyard." He nodded understandingly and gave her a hug; "Just think how hard it must have been for Lily, the house crumbled right before her eyes!"

"Yeah," she agreed; "That must have been horrible." For a moment she just stood motionlessly, staring over her shoulder at the ruin, but then she seemed to recall why they were there in the first place. "Come on Moony, Sirius needs us," she said urgently, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the Potters' burial site.

Since they knew exactly where to look, it wasn't long until they heard Sirius' voice; "– and then she asked me if I didn't love him as much as she did! How could she say something like that? She has no idea how much I cared about James, he was my friend even before she was!"

Jess and Remus hesitated to move closer as soon as they heard his highly sentimental tone, only when he finished speaking and broke down completely, did they throw caution to the winds and chance an approach. At the feel of a gentle hand on his shoulder, Sirius looked up; "Jessie, Moony? What on earth are you two doing here?"

Jessica rolled her eyes; "You didn't think we'd leave you alone after what happened at Grimmauld Place, did you? Honestly, what are friends for Sirius?"

He took a deep breath and wiped a shaky hand across his moist eyes; "Thanks guys," he whispered gratefully. Jessica and Remus smiled affectionately; "Anytime Padfoot," they both said in unison, before pulling him to his feet.

The three of them gazed at each other without a word for a few minutes, until Jess finally broke the tense silence tentatively; "Sirius are you ready to go back to Grimmauld Place? Lily practically begged us to bring you back, she feels terrible about what she said to you!"

As if to prove her statement right, there was a silver flash of light and a leopard Patronus materialized before their eyes; "Jess, if you've found Sirius, please get him to come home now! Lily is getting very stubborn and she's about to go looking for him herself!" it urged in her sister's voice, before evaporating as quickly as it had come.

Remus gaped horror-struck at the place where Nora's Patronus had been, while Jessica spun around to face Sirius once more, her eyes pleading with him to come home. "Come on Sirius, you know Lily is too weak to leave the house, but you're the only one who can stop her now!"

Meanwhile, back at Grimmauld Place, Lily was getting more irrational by the minute; "Please let me go Nora, I can't stand not knowing where they are, I feel so helpless!" she begged the older girl desperately.

But Nora was adamant; "No Lily, you heard Jessie before she left, Harry needs you here! Remus and Jess will find Sirius and bring him back, you should stop worrying so much, alright?"

"You don't understand how I'm feeling right now Nora! A part of me knew Sirius was just being sensible, but I still yelled at him and now he's even more shattered than he was before and it's my fault! "

Nora sighed heavily; "Stop blaming yourself Lily, he would have left eventually even if you hadn't said that, you know he's never handled emotional situations well." Lily nodded reluctantly, those Parker sisters were right about so many things, it really was unnerving.

"You and Jess have more common sense than is healthy," was her first pathetic attempt at a joke since James' death.

Nora nodded with a small smile; "We get that from our mother," she replied shortly before the silence became complete once again.

"I need some air," said Lily quickly, when the atmosphere became tenser than she could bear. With those words, she got up and headed out the door, doing her best to ignore Nora's suspicious gaze following her.

Once she was in the corridor, out of Nora's line of vision, Lily began to run. She didn't have a fixed idea of where she was going; all she knew was that another minute in that house would drive her to the brink of insanity. All of a sudden, she was overcome by another intense wave of dizziness, which rendered her unable to move. Utterly exhausted, she collapsed on the sidewalk and wept, not caring who saw her.


	7. The Outburst

By some miracle, nobody bothered Lily for a very long time. It seemed like hours later that the voice she'd been longing to hear for the better part of the night, roused her from her misery; "Lily? You wanted me to come home so badly, then why weren't you waiting there, huh?"

Unable to believe her ears, Lily looked up slowly and gave another strangled sob; Sirius was standing there with open arms. His intense grey eyes had lost their joyous, carefree glint and were now brimming with concern and pain.

Slowly she stood up and walked dazedly into his embrace, murmuring through fresh tears; "I'm so sorry Padfoot, I was an idiot, I don't know what I was thinking! Please forgive me!"

He took a step back and looked into her eyes; "Listen to me Lil, there's nothing to forgive, you just need to remember that I've lost just as much as you have with James' death. He was something irreplaceable to both of us, a husband to you, but also a brother to me, never forget that please!"

She nodded guiltily; "My grief at the time made me forget how important he was to you, I really am sorry!"

He shook his head firmly and hugged her comfortingly; "It's okay, now come on everyone is worried about you back home."

Lily sighed; "No offense Sirius, but that house was part of the reason I left, it's not the nicest place to be when I'm already so depressed!"

He shrugged helplessly; "I'm not taking offense Lils, I agree with you, I hate that place! But it is Headquarters to the Order and we can't change the fact that everyone is waiting there for us."

Lily groaned, his words had reminded her of something; "Damn it! I bet Nora is furious I snuck out on her, isn't she? I tell you, that girl was watching me like a hawk the entire time that Jess and Moony were out looking for you!"

He gave a small smile; "Wow, you must be upset, since when does Lily Potter swear?" Unfortunately, the use of her full name triggered a fresh wave of pain and before he could say another word, she was sobbing into his shoulder and saying; "Let's go home Sirius, I need to see Jamie again!"

"Hush Lily, it'll be okay," he whispered soothingly, before taking her hand and apparating back to Grimmauld Place.

Before he could even knock however, the door flew open and Jessica threw herself at him; "Padfoot, Lily, thank Heavens, we were getting so worried!" she told him fervently.

"Hey, calm down Jess, we're fine really," he assured her, but before he could say more than that, the sounds of a wailing infant reached their ears.

At the distressing noise, Lily spoke for the first time since their arrival; "Is that Harry?" she asked in a voice that shook with exhaustion and yet had a concerned edge to it; "What in the name of Merlin is he still doing awake?"

Jessica merely nodded sadly; "Sorry Lil, he hasn't stopped crying for a minute since Moony left a little while ago, after all that was the last familiar face in the house. I don't think Harry trusts Nora and me very much, we're the only ones left here now, because you guys took forever to come!"

But Lily only heard half of her friend's explanation, next second she was running faster than she had ever done in her life, only skidding to a halt at the sight of Nora sitting on the couch, desperately bouncing the distraught baby up and down on her lap.

"Hush, quiet Harry, Mummy will come home soon!" When he still refused to quiet down, Lily moved closer to the couch and braced herself for a tirade.

Sure enough, at the sound of the tentative footsteps, Nora looked up, the reaction was immediate; "You," she exclaimed angrily, glaring furiously at Lily. " Your son has been driving me up the wall! I told you not to go anywhere, so why don't you listen, huh? "

Lily frowned; "That's out of line, Nora! Be angry with me if you want, I deserve it, but don't take your frustration out on Harry, he's only a baby!"

But Nora shook her head as she stood up to leave; "He's not just any baby, he's the most annoying child I've ever had the misfortune to meet," she declared firmly, before setting the toddler down and heading for the door.

Just as Lily picked Harry up again and cuddled him comfortingly, Sirius and Jessica came running into the room, startled by the raised voices. Staring at her friend in confusion, Jess asked; "What just happened here Lils? We heard raised voices and then Nora stormed out the door without looking left or right!"

Swallowing the fresh lump forming in her throat, Lily managed to say; "Your sister lost her temper with me for running away and she was taking it out on Harry!"

At her words Jessica winced, understanding better than anyone what her sister's temper was like. "I'm sorry Lils; I'll go talk to her."

Lily nodded absently and hugged Harry protectively; "It's not your fault Jess, I really appreciate your staying this long in the first place, but I can't bear it when anyone insults my baby! I'm sure you can understand the feeling, right?"

Sensing that her friend was upset, Jessica sat down next to Lily and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder; "I understand perfectly Lil, Nora shouldn't have snapped at you like that! She's just not the most patient person in the world, you know?"

Lily looked up slowly and Jess could see the pain in her eyes, in an effort to distract her friend from the awkward memory she told her gently; "If you want to see James, Moony took the body to the spare bedroom before he left. He put a spell on it so it won't decay too quickly, after all who knows when the funeral will be all things considered! "

As Lily's exhausted brain processed this new information, Jess got up to depart for her sister's flat. With a sympathetic smile, she waved to Lily and headed for the front door. The movement snapped Sirius, who had dazedly watched the exchange, out of his reverie.

"Back in a minute Lils," he said hurriedly, before tearing after Jessica's retreating back. Thankfully she couldn't Apparate until she got outside the protective barrier surrounding the building. "Jessie wait," he called desperately.

He breathed a sigh of relief when she stopped, even though her hand was already on the door handle. But then she turned to face him and the unshed tears in her eyes diminished his courage slightly, Nora had been right in saying that he wasn't the best person to handle emotional situations.

"What do you want Sirius?" she asked tersely, her tone bordering on impatience. He shook himself and took a step closer, to her surprise.

"I want to apologize for how abruptly I showed you the corpse when I arrived here. James was your best friend too and I should have realized you would be as upset as I was when I found out!" Her grip on the door handle relaxed as she looked into his eyes.

"I knew you didn't really mean it Padfoot, what else could you do when I was in denial about it?"

"I still could have been a little more tactful," he replied with an apologetic look. As he spoke, Sirius stepped even closer to her and ran a finger across her cheek. She backed towards the door and groped for the handle, unsure what to make of the fact that her heart was racing as she stared into his steely grey eyes.

"I-I should go," she managed to stutter even as she pulled the front door open. He let go of her hand obligingly and watched as she ran down the path towards the Apparition point. Once she was out of sight, he returned to the living room where Lily was waiting. The two of them were now alone in the most depressing house he'd ever known with nothing but their memories of better times.


	8. Confrontations And Bargaining

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the Parker sisters!  
**  
For a moment, there reined a dense silence, broken only by Harry's whimpers. Sirius could tell that Lily was struggling to keep her eyes open by now and so he turned to her and asked; "Why don't you go lie down, Lils? You look dead on your feet."

Although she looked tempted by his offer, Sirius didn't miss the concern in her eyes as her gaze came to rest on Harry. Gently he lifted the toddler off her lap and said in mild exasperation; "Could you please stop worrying about Harry? I'll take care of him, now go and get some sleep!"

She smiled gratefully and made her way upstairs. As soon as she reached the landing the urge to see James hit her again, stronger than it been all night. Ignoring the fact that she was so tired she felt like a zombie, Lily cracked the door to the spare bedroom open and peered around it. She stifled a sob at the sight that met her eyes: James was lying on the bed, his features frozen in a look of pure terror.

She pushed the door open wider and stepped closer to the bed, thinking how different James looked now as compared to the previous morning. In a dream-like state she stumbled over to the bed and squeezed his limp, cold hand in hers as it dangled off the edge of the bed.

She suddenly felt a rush of gratitude towards Remus for thinking of putting a preservative spell on the body, because after staring at the motionless corpse for a moment she found herself unable to hold back. Without thinking of anything except sleep and the dire need to be near James, she crawled into bed beside the body and drifted into a deep sleep, seconds after laying her head on his chest.

Meanwhile, Jessica arrived at her sisters' house, cursing the fact that she was a peacemaker by nature. Though she was more tired and miserable than she would admit, she wasn't going to let her sister get away with the cruel things she had said.

With that thought in mind, she took a deep breath and entered the house. In seconds, a bright light flooded the darkened hallway. Shielding her eyes with one hand, Jess squinted at her sister as the latter stood feet away from her. She could just make out the frown on Nora's face, before the older girl extinguished her wand-light with a muttered; "Nox."

The two girls stared at each other in silence for a moment, until Jess summoned her very last nerve in order to confront her sister. She had never had much of an intimidating appearance; then again she had never felt as strongly about something as she did at that moment.

It didn't help her cause that she was almost in tears as she said accusingly; "Nora, how could you treat Harry like that? Not to mention Lily, after everything she's been through these past few days, you still felt the need to add to her suffering?"

"Can you honestly blame me Jessie? I have nothing against Lily, you know that, but that son of hers is too much like his good for nothing father," her sister retorted. Within seconds of her snappy argument, Nora saw a variety of emotions flash through her younger sisters' eyes. First was the stunned shock, then blazing anger, which was replaced seconds later by a heart-breaking sorrowful look.

Jessica could no longer keep the quaver out of her voice as she said slowly; "That just happens to be my best friend in the world you're insulting. You should watch your mouth, Nora Melanie Parker!"

_"Oh, she's angry now, we've reached the phase of resorting to full names," _Nora thought to herself, but was jerked rather abruptly out of her musings by the stinging sensation on her cheek. She hadn't noticed Jessica coming closer to her, until the latter had actually slapped her. Before she could recover sufficiently to say anything, her sister pushed past her and ran up the stairs, attempting unsuccessfully to stifle her sobs.

For the first time that day, Nora felt guilty. Technically she was fully aware of how her sister felt about James, hence that the insults she had recently uttered wouldn't go down at all well with Jess. But the fact remained that he was gone forever and Jessica had to accept that soon anyway, she, Nora, had maybe just pushed her into doing so a bit too soon.

Before she could dwell on the matter for long however, the clanging of the doorbell jerked her out of the guilty musings. With a sigh she pulled it open and stared, Sirius was standing on the doorstep looking utterly hassled as he held a squirming Harry in his arms.

Ignoring the look of dislike on Nora's face as soon as she laid eyes on the toddler, Sirius begged her in an exhausted voice; "Nora, please tell me you have some baby food around! Prongslet here is starving and Lily is finally getting the first good sleep she's had in days. I didn't have the heart to wake her for something like this."

"Alright come in," she muttered grudgingly after contemplating him in silence for a moment. As she led the way into the living room, she added; "_I_ don't have any baby food, but I know someone who will. Did you try at the Longbottoms' place?"

With the hand that wasn't holding Harry, Sirius smacked himself on the forehead; "How could I be so dense? Alice would do anything for Lily. How did I not think of her at once?"

As she watched him punish himself for being thick, Nora figured out a way to redeem herself in her sisters' eyes. Forcing herself not to grimace, she took Harry from Sirius' arms and told him; "Listen Padfoot, if I do you a favor and Floo Alice about the food, will you do me one?"

"Depends on what it is," he replied simply, yet in a tone that made it clear to her that he had by no means forgotten her dramatic exit from Grimmauld Place.  
With a sigh, Nora relived her entire argument with Jessica for him and concluded that she felt extremely guilty about it.

When she had finished, he observed her without a word for a few minutes and finally said pointedly; "Let's be clear on one thing Nora, I'm not doing this for your sake. I agree to do it, but only because I want to help ease Jessica's pain. I understand better than anyone the void James' death must have left her with and I also know exactly how painful it is to have someone you care about rub the loss in your face."

Before she could do more than thank him for agreeing to fix the mess she had made, Sirius turned and rushed up the stairs without another word, leaving her with the equally unpleasant task of informing Alice about James' death and hence the need to borrow baby food.

_"Here goes nothing," _she mused resignedly as she grabbed a handful of Floo powder and threw it in the fireplace, as yet unaware of the tragedy which had struck Alice as well. After making sure that Harry was in no position to wreck anything while she was gone, Nora stuck her head in the fire and was transported away in a flash of green flames.

**A/N Please keep the reviews coming!**


	9. Serious Support

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the Parker's!**

While Nora was Flooing Alice, Sirius reached upstairs to find every door save one, wide open. Chances were that Jessica had withdrawn to that room and shut the door herself. Never one to willingly invade peoples' private space, he hesitated before summoning the courage to knock.

Sure enough, seconds later he heard Jessica's voice; "Go away Nora!"

At the audible pain in her voice, he swallowed his nerves and pushed the door open without waiting for a proper invitation. At the sound of it creaking open, Jessica looked up and made to glare at the intruder, but the anger in her eyes faded away when she saw who it was.

Slowly she got to her feet and moved towards him; "Sirius, what are you doing here?" she asked him.

"I came here because Harry was hungry and Lily went to bed soon after you left Grimmauld Place," he explained. "When your sister told me about your argument earlier, I thought you might want to talk, so Nora said she'd get some food for Harry, leaving me free to see if you're okay."

"Oh okay," Jessica nodded understandingly, before returning to the bed and sinking down onto it.

Tentatively Sirius joined her and inquired gently; "So, _do_ you have something you want to talk about?" As he put an arm around her, Sirius could feel Jessica shaking. Almost certain that this wasn't because she was cold; he grasped her wrists and gently removed her hands from her face. Sure enough, the first thing he saw was the silent tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Jessie come on, talk to me," he begged, concern lacing every syllable.

At long last she looked up; the pain in her eyes was so visible it even hurt to meet her gaze. "Why did Nora hate Jamie so much, Padfoot?" she asked simply, rendering him momentarily speechless. That simple question was ironically the one he had no answer to.

Finally, he pulled her into a comforting hug and murmured sadly; "I don't know Jess, that's something you'll have to ask her. Somehow I don't think the fight with Nora is the sole reason you're upset though. Am I right?"

"That you are," she admitted grudgingly. "I just miss him so much Sirius, the regret I feel right now really hurts!"

"Why do you feel regret Jessica?" he asked curiously, after contemplating her silently for a moment.

"Because," she burst out, "during all our years at Hogwarts, I was head over heels in love with him, but he was too infatuated with Lily to notice. As time went on, I became increasingly jealous until I stopped talking to him altogether. I even hated Lily for a while, you know? The remorse that's been building up inside me for all these years can be felt the most now that he's gone. I'm such a horrible person, I deserve this pain!"

When she had finished ranting, Sirius struggled to keep himself from looking shocked, finally managing to say firmly; "No Jess, nobody deserves this kind of pain. How you felt back in school was completely natural under those circumstances! Let me tell you, I know exactly how you must have felt back then, because although I may have seemed like a player, I was actually in love with a girl who never noticed how I felt."

The minute those words left Sirius' mouth, he could have kicked himself for being so open and honest, but it was too late to back down, Jessica was already watching him with mild interest and he could sense her next words before she spoke; "Who did you like back then Pads?"

To her surprise, he blushed noticeably and looked away from her curious gaze before mumbling nervously; "Back then and even now, I have only ever truly loved you, Jessica Vivian Parker."

"What!" she exclaimed incredulously. "_Me_? Are you serious?"

"I have never been so serious about anything in my life," he assured her solemnly and somehow, she knew that he meant it. For the first time in history, Sirius Black had not used the word "serious" as a pun of his name.

For a moment, Jessica was speechless. After all, learning that the infamous player, Sirius Black, had always loved you was no small matter. When the initial shock had passed, she asked him in slight wonder; "Why me, Sirius? There must have been thousands of better-looking girls than me at Hogwarts back in the day!"

"I don't only go for girls when they look good Jessie," he told her in an outraged voice. "I love you because you were always the gangs' pillar of strength, always the unwaveringly loyal one, whom anyone could turn to when we needed to talk about our problems."

"Oh," she said awkwardly, also blushing. With everything Sirius had confessed recently, she felt slightly overwhelmed. Even the tears she had already cried would have been forgotten, had Sirius not brought James up again in an effort to end the awkward silence.

"You know Jess, in seventh year, even after James started dating Lily; he really missed your friendship. He used to compartmentalize everything in his life, Remus, Pete and I were his best mates, Lily was his girlfriend, but you were his best female friend.

We all had certain roles to play in his life and when you stopped talking to him there was a void where you should have been. He thought you were angry with him that's why he never tried to talk things out with you personally, but he told me so often how much he missed you, it actually started to get annoying."

Sirius realized too late that his little speech had brought all Jessica's agony right back to the surface. When he looked up, it was to find her firmly pressing her hands to her eyes, unsuccessfully trying to hide the fresh tears which were seeping out from under her palms.

Cursing his tactless nature, he tugged her hands away from her face for the second time and whispered; "I'm sorry Jess, I shouldn't have brought James up like that. I know it's still painful to talk about him."

"You're better than Nora at least," Jessica murmured. "She's happy that he's dead!"

"I'm sure that's not true, Jessie! Yes, it's true she said some horrible things but that's a strong accusation to make."

"I can't help it Padfoot, I really hate her right now! She knew how much I loved James, but she still insulted him in front of me. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"

It was those words, more than anything else that made Sirius pull out of the hug he had engulfed her in, looking her straight in the eye he said seriously; "Yes Jessica, I know exactly how much it must have hurt. Why do you think I was the one to come up here? I came willingly because I understand better than others, the pain of losing your best friend."

With those words, he pressed his lips lightly to her forehead and got to his feet. "We should go downstairs now, if you feel ready," he told her, the reluctance audible in his voice. She looked disappointed, but stood up slowly nonetheless. Tentatively she reached for his hand, smiling when he squeezed it comfortingly. In visibly higher spirits, Jessica and Sirius walked downstairs hand in hand, blissfully unaware of the new tragedy of which they would learn in mere moments.


	10. Alice Alert

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and my OC's!**

Sirius and Jessica were half-way down the stairs when they heard the distant sounds of what sounded like two wailing toddlers, coming from the living room. They both quickened their paces automatically, neither of them admitting to the twisted anxiety in the pits of their stomachs. They reached the living room to find Alice alone, desperately trying to feed Harry and pacify Neville at the same time.

Jessica was first to cross the room in quick strides and pull an increasingly cranky Neville onto her lap. In a matter of minutes he calmed down. Alice, who had by this time convinced Harry to drink the formula she had made him, met her friend's gaze gratefully.

"Thanks Jess, you are a life-saver honestly, I was losing my mind down here!"

"Why didn't you call us Allie? We were right upstairs you know," Jessica pointed out. Alice looked sheepish and mumbled something about not wanting to interfere. It was such a lame excuse that Jessica was about to roll her eyes, but just then Alice finished feeding Harry and looked up at her.

The pain and misery in her eyes seemed horribly familiar to Jessica and so, instead of being sarcastic, she asked carefully; "Did Nora tell you about James?"

"Yes she did," Alice replied solemnly. "I cried quite a bit when I heard the news, it seems Lily and me are destined to have the same fate in everything."

At those words, Jessica frowned in confusion; "What do you mean, Al?"

Alice took a deep breath and began to explain; "What really made me cry was when Nora told me when exactly the attack on Godric's Hollow was. Earlier on that very same day Bellatrix Lestrange and a couple other Death Eaters came to my house and used the Cruciatus on Frank and Mum. I had gone with Neville to the park at the time and when I got back, the house was in shambles, Mum was dead and –"she broke off looking on the verge of tears.

Jessica squeezed her shoulder awkwardly; she was the last person to push such a close friend towards a clearly upsetting topic. Alice had her eyes closed now; evidently she was struggling to stay in control of her emotions. Looking in the opposite direction, she continued her painful tale.

"And Frank was repeatedly cursed to the point of insanity! He's in hospital and will stay there for the rest of his life. The curse did permanent damage to his brains and the Healers doubt he'll recover. What I meant before was, Lily and I became brides, mothers and Order members together and now we're practically widows together."

A horrified silence hung in the air like a grey storm cloud once Alice had finished her story, but it was only when Jessica put Neville down and hugged her friend tightly that the latter broke down entirely. Minutes later however, the comforting moment was interrupted by frantic knocks at the front door.

A pointed look from Jessica told Sirius that he had to answer the door. At least that way, he could be more useful than if he continued to hover awkwardly at the foot of the staircase. With a sympathetic glance at Alice he proceeded down the corridor. All seemed fine for a moment, but Jessica had barely resumed her position beside Alice, when they heard hysterical screaming.

"Sirius Black I will _kill_ you! How could you just leave the house like that? You didn't leave a note or anything and worse, you took Harry with you! Do you have any idea how terrifying it was to wake up and find Harry gone without a trace?"

Alice and Jessica exchanged a worried look; "That doesn't sound good, I should probably go help him," Jessica pointed out.

Alice looked slightly skeptical; "Good luck with that, everyone knows there's no reasoning with Lily when she gets into this kind of temper. By what she just said to Sirius I'm going to have to take her side personally. There's nothing worse for a mother than waking up to find her child gone. You're great in many ways Jessie, but you can't possibly understand how that would feel, because you aren't a mother."

Jessica looked slightly hurt, but before she could retort, Lily stormed into the living room. She looked a complete mess: Her hair was a mass of tangled knots and her normally vibrant emerald eyes looked dull and lifeless. But behind her worn out general appearance, both Jessica and Alice could sense a mixture of anger at what Sirius had done and relief at finding Harry in good hands.

Without a second's hesitation, Lily strode across the room towards her two closest friends. Gently she took Harry from Alice, temporarily too distraught to even wonder what the former was doing at Nora's house in the first place. Silence reigned for a few minutes, as Lily simply hugged her son close to her chest. Soon enough however she recovered sufficiently to turn and fix Jessica with an accusatory glare.

"I really hope you had no part in Sirius' carelessness, Jessie," she told her menacingly.  
At the hurt look on Jessica's face, Sirius spoke up firmly; "Lily, Jess had nothing to do with the fact that I forgot to leave you a note. She left before you even went to sleep, remember?"

Lily sighed; "I know that and I also know you would never let Harry get hurt. I don't know what's wrong with me, saying such mean things when you've both done nothing but help me through the pain. I'm sorry to both of you, Padfoot and Jess."

"It's okay Lil," they were quick to assure her. Lily looked relieved that she had such forgiving friends, but their kindness had reminded her of an old score she still needed to settle.

"Have any of you seen Nora recently? I intend on giving her a piece of my mind personally, for what she said about Harry." There was a wide variety of reactions at her words: Sirius shrugged and muttered something about baby food, Jessica looked guilty as the memory of her fight with her sister came back to her, but it was Alice who stood out the most. Suddenly she seemed to give off the air of someone who knew something which the rest of them did not and judging by her concerned frown it wasn't good news.

All eyes were on Alice now, although she seemed to be having trouble speaking up. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking very much like a fish out of water. After watching her friend swallow dryly for the fifth time, Jessica lost control completely; "Out with it Alice, where is my sister?" she snapped.

Sirius approached the hysterical girl from behind and squeezed her shoulders; "Calm down Jessie, I'm sure she's fine," he told her soothingly, but Alice put a dampener on his efforts with the words; "Come upstairs with me Jess, we need to talk."


	11. Bearer Of Bad News

**Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing except the story plot, the Parkers and Daniel.**

Nervously Jessica followed Alice up the stairs, the gravity of her friends' tone echoing in her head. How was it even possible that Alice knew what Nora was up to when she didn't? She didn't have to wait long for the answer to that question.

All too soon, they reached the landing and Alice ushered her into the bedroom. It was only once they were seated side by side on the bed that Jessica realized she was very nearly speechless with fear. When she did finally manage to speak, it was only in a pitifully shaky voce.

"What's this about Allie, where is Nora?" Alice' expression reflected a hint of pity by now, a fact that was quickly turning Jessica into a nervous wreck. She couldn't remember ever worrying about her sister this much before.

"It's kind of a long story," Alice began to explain at long last. Her tone was as grave as ever forcing Jessica to repress a shudder.  
"Long story or not, I have to know where she is right now," she declared firmly, albeit not in as intimidating a tone as she would have liked.

"Alright," Alice gave in. "Basically she came over to my place to get baby food, though I'm guessing the state my house was in must have been a little bit distracting. Anyway, soon after telling me about the attack on Godric's Hollow we heard someone Apparating onto the front lawn."

She paused there for dramatic effect, visibly enjoying the suspense she had created, especially considering how reluctant she had been to spill the beans in the first place. Jessica narrowed her eyes menacingly; "Get on with it; I'm not kidding around here!"

The smirk slid of Alice' face like water of a ducks' back and she continued her recollection hurriedly; "Okay, I'm sorry. So, as I was saying, this stranger walks in all of a sudden and tells Nora that Albus has summoned a bunch of the Order members to Hogwarts to get a brief for their latest mission. Apparently she knew who this guy was, because she went with him after telling me to bring the food for Harry here. And of course you know what happened here after that."

Once Alice had finished the tedious explanation, silence reigned for a moment, while Jessica digested everything she had just learnt. Finally she said; "Nora isn't the type to just go off with strangers. Did you hear what this mystery mans' name is?"  
"Only vaguely," her friend replied apologetically. "If I heard right, Nora called him Danny." To her surprise, Jessica's eyes sparked with recognition alongside slight incredulity. "Do you know him too?"

"Of course I know him and so do you. Don't you remember our cousin, Daniel Mariano? He was a year above us at Hogwarts and the Head Boy in his final year there. I'm just a bit surprised to hear that he showed up here, that's all. He went abroad for his Auror training as soon as he graduated and I haven't seen him since."

Alice nodded thoughtfully; "I do have vague memories of him as Head Boy, now that you mention it," she agreed, but trailed off at the sudden look of horrified realization on Jessica's face. "What's wrong Jessie?"

She was just beginning to feel unnerved by the distant look in Jessica's eyes, when her friend spoke at last; "I just realized something," she said fearfully. "Nora's area of expertise is normally the theory of jinxes, hexes and curses. Why is she taking to the battlefield today?"

Alice looked at her awkwardly. She had been hoping to avoid the discomfort accompanying this part of the story. "I think she was just taking drastic action against how down in the dumps she was when she showed up on my doorstep," she suggested slowly.  
Jessica frowned at her; "Are you calling my sister suicidal, Al? Because let me tell you that's certainly what it sounds like right now!"

"I'm not calling Nora suicidal, Jess! I'm just giving you the probable reason for why she acted so rashly all of a sudden," Alice protested indignantly. She would have argued further, but they were interrupted at that moment by a tentative knock at the bedroom door. Both girls fell silent and turned towards the door as it creaked open.

Lily was standing in the doorway looking grave. "Jessie, you had better get downstairs, now! An owl just arrived from Andromeda Tonks. Apparently Albus put her in charge of the casualties of the latest Order mission and Nora's in intensive care as we speak."  
"What? Oh no, this cannot be happening, I have to go!"In seconds Jessica leapt to her feet and pushed past Lily and down the stairs.

Lily looked expectantly at Alice;"Are you coming down too, Allie?" she asked. Her friend simply stared suspiciously at her. Lily rolled her eyes, trying not to let Alice read her mind like she always could.  
But such mind-reading skills were simply in the job description of being a best friend, as she would learn soon enough. "Something is bothering you Lils," Alice stated rather than asked, before demanding; "Was there anything else in that letter, hmm?"

Lily sighed and plopped onto the bed beside Alice; "Nothing gets past you, Al. As a matter of fact, a note from Albus came along with Andromeda's letter. He said this particular mission cost so many Order members their lives that there's going to be a memorial service for all the deceased at Hogwarts in three days time."  
Alice looked at her blankly; "So, what does that have to do with you?"

"I'm coming to that, hold your Hippogriffs, Al!" Lily replied impatiently."Albus asked me if I wanted to have the funeral for James that day as well. He said the entire Order will be there and I can invite whomever else I want. It does seem like the ideal situation at first glance, it was just such a sudden proposition. I don't know what to tell him, because to be honest, I haven't thought about the funeral even once!"

She turned away when she had finished explaining so that Alice wouldn't see the tears in her eyes as she added shakily; "I'm not ready to say goodbye, Allie! It hurts so much just thinking about it."  
"Oh Lily, saying goodbye for the last time isn't going to be easy no matter how long you put it off for. Probably the only thing you'll get out of waiting is a rotten corpse; you know the preservative spell can't last forever."

Lily nodded sadly; "I know, so I should probably accept the offer, right?"  
"I think you should," agreed Alice. "And don't worry about not having anything special planned. Not even a funeral can be dull when Sirius was the deceased's best friend."

Lily smiled in spite of herself as she hugged Alice gratefully. "That's true, he really is amazing. Thanks Al."  
"Anytime Lils, just remember you aren't going to have to go through that funeral alone. It's a good thing you managed to retain your friendships from our school days. They will help you get through this now. Padfoot, Moony, Jessie and I will all be there for you, alright?"

Lily was just about to express her gratitude again, when the door creaked open for the second time and Sirius walked in holding Harry. He had evidently overheard the last part of their conversation, because he said grimly; "Alice is right in saying that you won't be alone during the funeral service Lils, I just wouldn't count on Jess being there if I were you."

Lily and Alice both looked confused, so he elaborated reluctantly; "She just called from the hospital. I brought Harry upstairs so you girls can watch him now. Jess asked me to stay with her until her cousin wakes up. He was seriously injured apparently and he's now the only family she has left. It was too late to save Nora, she's dead."

With those words he handed Lily her son and left the room, leaving a horrified silence in his wake.


	12. Stress At St Mungo's

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and my OC's!**

_A few hours previously_

Andromeda Tonks strolled between the many occupied beds in the ward specially erected for injured Order members, massaging her forehead wearily. It had been a long time since she'd had to deal with this much pressure because she usually worked in the maternity ward. She thought it extremely ironic that it was usually in her job description to bring new lives into the world and now she was fighting to save many who were on the brink of death.

Just as she was about to sit down for the first time that evening, the intern Carla Andrews burst into the ward looking slightly nauseated. "Andy, can your break wait for a few more minutes? The reason why Albus must have asked you to look after this ward is probably the personal bond you have with many of the Order members, right?" Andromeda nodded tiredly, wondering only vaguely where Carla was going with this.

"What's your point Carla?" she asked testily. The younger girl shuffled her feet nervously and murmured; "Mr. Lupin just brought Nora Parker and Daniel Mariano in. Both of them are in pretty bad shape."

Andromeda tried not to let her dismay show, she knew that Daniel and Nora were Jessica's only living relatives and didn't much look forward to telling her they were in trouble. Instead she said quickly; "Thanks Carla, I'll take care of it!" With that she turned and sprinted towards the arrivals area.

When she got there, the first thing Andromeda saw was her co-worker, Sara Abott, pushing a bed on wheels into the elevator. She dashed across the room towards her and joined her in the elevator.

"Hey Sara, Carla just told me about Nora Parker and Daniel Mariano. I see you have Daniel here; do you know what sort of condition Nora is in? I have to write to her sister and I don't want to exaggerate and make her worry unnecessarily." Sara nodded, barely looking up since she was cautiously turning the bed around, while trying not to dislodge the drip hanging above the bed.

"Nora has already been taken to the operating theatre. I just saw her briefly; her chances of survival are pretty slim if you ask me. Now I'm taking Dan upstairs, his main problem is major blood loss, he should be fine though. By the way, I reckon Nora's sister has good reason to worry, the odds are completely against her."

"Right," Andromeda nodded, trying not to let her uneasiness at Sara's ominous proclamation show. So it was official, her next job was owling Jessica. With a sigh, she left the elevator the next time it stopped and turned towards her office. What she didn't know was that even she had a surprise waiting for her in her office. When she turned the doorknob and stepped into the room, Andromeda felt her jaw drop.

Before it could sink in who was standing before her, Andromeda heard a squeal and a pair of short arms flung themselves around her waist. "Mummy, you're here!"

She stroked her daughter's vibrantly pink hair affectionately, before letting go of the little girl and turning to her husband. He smiled fondly at her and all the night's misery and exhaustion seemed to melt away. "You never work this late Dromeda, what happened?" he asked curiously.

"It's a long story," she said shortly. "Suffice it to say that the latest Order mission has had some major casualties. I haven't sat down for a minute all evening."

"Sounds brutal," commented Ted sympathetically.

"It's horrible," confirmed Andromeda sadly. "Molly Weasley lost both her brothers and even now, I technically only came to my office to send Jessica an owl saying her sister is in a critical condition."

"You mean Jessica Parker?" he asked incredulously. "We haven't seen or heard from her since she was a sixth year or something."

"That's right," piped up Tonks, who had evidently been listening to her parents talking. "Jessie was fun, not like her big sister. She was always reading and doing other boring things, but Jess liked watching me change my looks!"

"Dora!" Andromeda reproached her daughter sharply. "Please don't say anything like that in front of Jessica, it will be a miracle if her sister lives through the night and that is going to be hard enough to bear. If you don't be good, I'm sending you home with Daddy right now, understand?"

"Yes Mum!" Her daughter nodded hastily, the last thing she wanted was to be sent home.

"Ted, why don't you take Dora to the coffee shop upstairs for a while? I'd prefer to be alone while I write that letter to Jessica. I'll meet you up there for a drink when I've sent it off, alright?"

Ted shrugged; "Okay honey, it's your call." With that he took Tonks' hand and dragged her out of the office, ignoring her squirms and shrieks of protest. Ten minutes later, Andromeda had sent her barn owl to Grimmauld Place with a frantically scribbled note and joined her family in the cafeteria for a well-deserved break.

The tranquility of the situation didn't last long though. She was half-way through her third cup of coffee when Carla came running towards her. The young intern obviously wasn't used to this level of pressure, because her complexion had taken on a distinct greenish tinge.

"Sweet Merlin Carla, have you seen your face? Take a break already!" said Andromeda in slight alarm. The younger girl didn't need telling twice. She sank into one of the chairs surrounding their table and said faintly; "I was helping Sara operate on Nora Parker, we lost her."

"By lost do you mean…?" Andromeda trailed off apprehensively. Carla nodded shakily, before putting her head down on the table and bursting into tears without warning. Andromeda turned hurriedly to Ted; "Ted, would you take Dora home please? I'll be late, okay?"

Unsurprisingly, her daughter was the first to protest against this proposition; "But Mummy, you promised I could stay if I was a good girl and I didn't do anything bad, did I?"

Andromeda forced a smile and said gently; "No sweetheart, you're being very good and I'm proud of you, but you'll probably have bad dreams if you stay here now, it's not a happy place."

"Oh okay," her daughter nodded decidedly and squeezed her father's hand; "Daddy, let's go home. See you later, Mum."

"Bye princess, be good for your dad, okay?" were Andromeda's parting words.

Tonks nodded eagerly; "I will, I promise." Andromeda smiled and kissed her husband fleetingly, before letting them walk away and turning to Carla, who had stopped crying by now but was evidently still distressed.

Tentatively, she stepped towards the table where Carla was sitting and inquired gently; "Carla, are you okay? I know that's probably the first time you've needed to help out with such a serious case and witnessing your patient lose their life can be overwhelming. I of all people should know that. I've worked in this hospital for years, but always in the maternity ward and helping out with these battle casualties today has been stressful even for me."

Carla nodded with a very forced smile; "I'm fine thanks, I probably just need a break. You're so right, it's horribly overwhelming how helpless one feels in that operating theatre."

"Alright then, just take it easy now, you've already been a huge help." With that Andromeda patted the intern's shoulder sympathetically and left her to unwind slightly. She left the cafeteria with the idea of heading back to her office in mind, not expecting to see Ted and her daughter still standing a little way down the corridor. Since she had expected them to have left by now, Andromeda moved towards the pair of them curiously.

Tonks' hair was flashing a variety of different colors and Andromeda knew she only did that when she was trying to cheer someone up by turning her hair all of their favorite shades. Her curiosity heightened, she reached her family and stopped short looking guilty. She should have known Ted wouldn't have stopped to chat with just anyone. Standing opposite him was none other than Jessica.


	13. Mysterious Girl

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Liz and the plot! Please Review!**

Meanwhile, the Leaky Cauldron's landlord, Tom, was just about to turn in for the night when he heard crashes and yelling coming from the next door Muggle orphanage. Feeling slightly disturbed, he stepped out onto the street to investigate. What he saw came as even more of a shock. The crabby old woman who owned the place was standing in the doorway of the building, glaring down at a familiar-looking teenage girl.

"And stay out you freak," she snarled contemptuously, before tossing a suitcase down the front steps after the girl and slamming the door behind her. Tom spared the doorway where Amelia Silverstone had stood seconds before one disgusted glance, but focused his attention on the mysterious girl again soon enough, as she sat up with obvious effort and looked around.

One look at her dazed expression was all it took for Tom to bounce into action. At his summons, one of the inn's maids came to carry the girl's bag inside, while he helped her awkwardly to her feet. Leaning heavily on him, she made it up to the bar before collapsing, either too exhausted or in too much pain, to carry on upstairs. Tom sincerely hoped it wasn't the latter reason, much as he disliked his grouchy neighbour; he hated to think that Amelia Silverstone abused the orphans in her care.

He snapped out of his musings at the sound of muffled sobs and realized that the girl was resting her head on the countertop and crying her heart out. Awkwardly he positioned himself behind her and wordlessly started rubbing her back in slow circles. Sure, he liked to think his heart was in the right place, but dealing with an upset teenage girl was pushing his limits.

He was just beginning to consider calling one of the maids to try and comfort her, when the girl finally looked up, her wavy black hair hanging limply about her shoulders and a fake smile plastered on her face. But it was her expressive hazel eyes that reminded the elderly inn-keeper where he had seen her before. The memory came rushing back, as vividly as if it had occurred the previous day and he simply ogled at her in shock.

_August of 1976 was drawing to a close when the Potter's came to stay at the Leaky Cauldron for a few days before dropping James and Sirius at King's Cross station, where they would be departing for their sixth year at Hogwarts._

_The difference of this completely normal occurrence was that this year, they were accompanied by a young girl. Louisa Potter introduced the then twelve year old as her daughter and explained reluctantly that she was a Squib, which was why she had never accompanied them in the years gone by._

_The only reason he got even that much information out of the woman, was because he walked in on young Elizabeth Potter crying the day before her brother was due back at school. He would never forget her innocent words when he asked her about why she was crying so hard._

_"I don't want James to leave me again," she explained sadly. "Every year he goes to school and leaves me behind. I can't help it that I'm not a proper witch; I can tell that I'm this huge disappointment to my parents but every year I dare to hope that by some miracle James will stay with me. And of course every year that dream is crushed when he, Sirius and Jess all go back to school together."_

_Her heartfelt confession was just beginning to arouse a considerable amount of awkwardness between them when James walked in. Quick as a flash, Tom told him that he needed to talk to Elizabeth about her fear of losing him completely and left the siblings to it._

_Elizabeth looked on the verge of tears again as James sat down beside her. Cautiously he placed an arm around her shoulders and asked her; "Lizzie, what's all this about, huh? I haven't seen you this worked up in a long time."_

_She looked at him, unshed tears sparkling in her eyes and pleaded softly; "Don't leave me again Jamie, you have no idea how alone I feel when you're at school. It's the same story every year but your leaving never hurts any less, it's so unfair."_

_She was crying in earnest now, ignoring the fact that he was staring at her completely at a loss for words. That's why it came as a total surprise when he suddenly pulled her onto his lap and whispered; "Liz, don't you think I'd give anything for you to be there with me? I think of you all the time and you know I write home regularly. You're not losing me just because I'm at a very different school to yours. I love you more than anything in the world and I'll always be here for you, understood?"_

_She nodded slowly and met his gaze, her eyes full of adoration; "Thanks James, I love you too. It's just hard sometimes, you know? When you aren't around Mum and Dad tend to make me feel even less adequate. It's at times like that when I just miss you and even Jessie and Sirius more than usual, just because you all love me just the way I am."_

_"Yeah we do," he agreed. "And you know what? I'm going to make sure Mum and Dad are nicer to you even after I go back to school this year!"_

_Lizzie looked perplexed; "How do you plan on doing that? You leave tomorrow morning in case you had forgotten, Mister Mastermind!"_

_James rolled his eyes; "Don't worry your pretty little head about it Sis, James Harold Potter always has a trick or three up his sleeve."_

_Elizabeth smiled for the first time that day. No matter what hell her parents put her through, James' positive outlook was utterly infectious. She would truly be lost without him._

Elizabeth's voice snapped Tom out of his musings at that moment; "Why are you staring at me like that, Tom? You've never seen a girl cry before, or what?"

"I'm sorry my dear," he apologized. "I just realized who you are and am slightly in shock, you see? I was just remembering the last time I met you when you were just twelve years old. There's quite a difference to how you looked back then."

"Oh right," Elizabeth nodded and tried to stand up but failed miserably. Tom watched as her knees buckled and she collapsed against the counter once more.

"If you don't mind me saying so Elizabeth, I reckon you should stay here for the night if not longer. I don't know what Miss Silverstone did to you or why, but it's obvious you're hurt in some way."

Suddenly a child-like fear became visible in the young girl's eyes and she said almost desperately; "I know I can hardly move, but I need to tell James the bloody orphanage kicked me out. He made me promise to tell him if something like this ever happened."

Tom looked at her and tried to put on an unreadable expression. The poor girl had already been through a lot for one night and was he really the right person to tell her that her support system had been murdered? Reasoning that he probably wasn't, he helped her to a room upstairs ignoring her curious gaze.


	14. Sanity And The Sister

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter Universe!**

After Sirius left for the hospital, both Lily and Alice watched their sons playing together, more intently focused on the two toddlers radiating happiness and care-free attitudes than ever before.

"Merlin, we are pathetic," commented Alice dryly ten minutes later. She glanced at Lily, whose gaze was trained unwaveringly on Harry and then got to her feet. This caught her friends' attention; "Where are you off to so purposefully?" she asked, her amazement at the sudden change in demeanour evident.

"Well that would be telling, wouldn't it?" replied Alice with a mysterious smile. The fact was she'd had a brainwave, though she highly doubted Lily would like the idea if she revealed it to her. "Will you be okay watching the boys on your own?" she asked instead, trying to maintain a casual tone.

"Okay," Lily agreed slowly, managing to keep the suspicion in her voice minimal. Satisfied with her reaction, Alice bent down and kissed Neville's forehead and then walked out the door with a cheery wave.

Once her friend had gone, Lily attempted to resume her mindless observing of the two playing boys, but the atmosphere in the house had changed too much for even this simple action to be the same.

Since sitting in one place proved to be agonizingly difficult, Lily found herself pacing before long. During that time the idea to pop by St. Mungo's crossed her mind more than once, but she always wrote it off as insane. While she definitely felt more at ease when Sirius was around, she couldn't possibly ask him to come home now. Jessica was also her friend and she would definitely go to pieces if left alone under the circumstances.

Unable as she was to reach a decision about how to combat the rapid loss of her sanity, the restless pacing continued, alongside a raging mental debate with herself. She highly doubted if she could carry both her son and Neville when taking the Floo network to the hospital, on the other hand leaving them alone was out of the question.

Suddenly she had an idea, marvelling at the fact that she hadn't thought of him sooner, Lily extracted her Order coin from her pocket and sent Remus a quick message. Then she made the mistake of resuming her pacing, which resulted in a collision when he arrived suddenly, five minutes later.

"Sorry," she mumbled, her cheeks turning as red as her hair. He shook his head and helped her to her feet with a comforting smile; "That's fine Lil, I'm more worried about why you felt the need to be pacing all this time in the first place," he replied.

"These past few days have given me a whole new understanding of why Padfoot hates this place so much," she explained fervently. "I feel like I'm about to lose my mind every time I come here. It was alright while Allie was around, but she left suddenly a while back and left me alone with the boys."

"Do you want to go to St. Mungo's?" he suggested. It was a wild guess, but for some reason, her eager expression didn't surprise him in the least.

"Are you a Legilimens, Moony?" she asked teasingly, the hint of a twinkle back in her eyes for the first time since Halloween.

"I'm not a Legilimens, I just know you very well," he said. "What's wrong Lily?" he added, because her smile faded suddenly.

"What about Jessie?" she queried, looking troubled. Remus met her gaze, the confusion visible in his eyes; "What about her?"

"The whole point of Sirius going to the hospital was to try and comfort her," Lily clarified. "How do you think she'll take it if we show up without warning?"

"You've got a point there," he agreed "though I personally feel it might be helpful for Padfoot to have us there, even if Jess doesn't like it at first. After all, he's also only human and I'm willing to bet neither of them has gotten much sleep, if any."

"That's true," she was forced to admit. "So, shall we go then?"

"Sure, whenever you're ready." If the situation had not been so sombre, he would have found the speed at which she scooped Harry up and charged out the door very amusing, as it was, he wordlessly followed suit with Neville in his arms.

When Remus and Lily reached the hospital, they lingered in the reception area, wondering where best to go next. Late as it was, the area was already dark and eerily silent, but just as Remus was about to suggest that they go look for a familiar face, they heard footsteps and a wand light penetrated the darkness.

"Tom! What are you-?" Lily started to say, when she realized that the light was being provided by none other than the elderly bartender, but trailed off in shock when the old man flicked his wand at the torches lining the walls, bathing the room in light. Standing behind him was a girl who seemed inexplicably familiar. Lily tuned out of Remus' conversation with Tom as she struggled to remember where she had seen the girl before.

_"Remember this, love?" asked Lily, gazing fondly at the photograph in her hand. James looked up at her briefly and mumbled distractedly; "Oh yeah, that was nice." Lily stared at him suspiciously, there was no way he could have even seen the picture properly from the distance he was at, especially taking his lousy eyesight and the fact that he was surrounded by a mountain of packing cases into consideration._

_Dropping the picture of her first intentional kiss with James back into the box at her feet, Lily picked her way through the maze of packing cases, eventually managing to find a clear space near her husband. Careful not to topple any of the cartons, she crouched beside him and peered over his shoulder._

_He was holding a framed picture of his family. Lily recognized him and Sirius standing right at the front, pulling silly faces. Just behind them stood his parents, they were holding hands and smiling at the camera. As she watched the photograph move, Harold Potter suddenly turned and pushed an unfamiliar teenage girl into the front, beside the clowning boys._

_"Who's that James?" she asked, brow furrowed in confusion. He started, as if he had been too lost in his own memories to notice her beside him and replied hoarsely; "Elizabeth Louise Potter, my younger sister."_

"Lily? I would really appreciate it if you would stop staring at me." The very fact that Elizabeth, whom she had never actually met, knew her name stunned Lily out of her reverie. She blushed and mumbled an awkward apology, before asking in wonder; "How do you know my name, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth shuddered; "Please, call me Liz or Lizzie. Only my grandparents ever called me Elizabeth. As to how I know your name, that's because you were all that my brother ever talked about when I used to ask him to tell me stories about Hogwarts. James really loved you, you know?"

"I know," was all that Lily could say before the lump in her throat became too large for her to speak. The tears began seeping out from under her closed eyelids before she could stop them and she only vaguely registered Remus snap accusingly at Tom; "You haven't told Liz about the attack yet?"

**Please review! I rely on them to improve as a writer and I will check out your author pages in return!**


	15. Telling Lizzie

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, duh!**

"What attack?" asked Elizabeth and Remus could make out a desperate plea for information in her aggravated tone of voice. He had half a mind to continue berating Tom for hiding such a life-changing tragedy from her, but was prevented from doing this by Harry and Neville, who chose that moment to display their displeasure at the raised voices by throwing spectacular tantrums.

He turned just in time to see Lily hastily wipe away the remnants of her tears and pick the two boys up, one in each arm. Needless to say, neither of the toddlers was remotely comforted by this arrangement and their incessant wailing continued. Remus immediately felt a pang of guilt for upsetting the boys, but before he could step in to help Lily with them, Liz beat him to it.

"Lily, may I hold Harry for a bit?" Elizabeth could practically see the debate on whether to hand her son over or not, raging in her sister in-law's mind. The overprotective instinct had obviously kicked in with full force.

"I'm not going to hurt him you know," she promised gently. "I can see that you're extremely protective of him for some reason, but just for a minute, could you please try to understand where I'm coming from? I spent nearly four years in a Muggle orphanage, that's four years of ridicule, all because everyone could tell there was something odd about me.

Of course I was used to being treated like dirt, because that's exactly how my own mother used to treat me for the first fourteen years of my life, but at least then James and Dad were around to put her in her place. I still have no idea why you're here and James isn't, all I know is that I really miss him and I'm thinking it might help the hollow feeling I have in my gut right now if I could give Harry a hug."

When she had finished ranting, Elizabeth swallowed hard and turned her back on Lily so that her tears could flow freely without being seen. A minute later she felt a tug on the edge of her cloak. Slowly she turned and lowered her gaze to discover the source of the pulling sensation. Harry was sitting on the ground in front of her, an innocent smile that could melt the hardest heart on earth, on his podgy little face.

She glanced at Lily in grateful disbelief and scooped the toddler up at his mother's encouraging nod. Even Remus and Tom laid their disagreement aside momentarily at the sound of her overwhelmed sobs.

"He's so beautiful," she choked out, hugging her nephew tightly. "It's true what I'd heard about him being a mini-James with emerald eyes."

Lily smiled sadly; "Sirius calls him Prongslet," she said slowly. "It comes from…"  
"James' Marauder nickname," Lizzie finished. "I might not have actually attended Hogwarts, but even I know all the Marauder secrets."

"Is that so?" Lily challenged. Elizabeth nodded, there was no point arguing the fact that James used to tell her everything that happened during the school year, eager as she was to learn about the world into which she supposedly belonged, but where she had never really fit in.

"Oh yes, the stories I loved best were always the ones about the hundreds of ways James asked you out, but the ones about how Sirius thought he was hiding his feelings for Jessie really well, even though he couldn't have been any more obvious, were really funny too."

Lily nodded, a reminiscent smile gracing her expression at the younger girl's words. Something did strike her as odd however; "Wait a minute, how do you know Sirius and Jess? You said yourself you never went to Hogwarts."

"I didn't have to be at Hogwarts to know those two," said Elizabeth. "Sirius became like a second brother to me when he moved in with our family in his and James' sixth year and Jessica's family lived next door to us when we were growing up. Before James started school, Jess was the only one whom he trusted with the secret of my existence."

"Why was your existence a secret in the first place?" asked Lily curiously. The longer she spent talking to Elizabeth, the more intriguing the teenager's secretive past seemed to her. Even James, with whom she had always shared a very open relationship, never used to speak about his sister if the topic could be avoided.

Elizabeth laughed humourlessly; "One word Lily: shame. My mother was so ashamed of me because she, along with everybody else in my family, thought that I was a Squib. She constantly compared my magical prowess to James', it's a miracle really that I never resented him for it."

By the time she had finished her explanation, Elizabeth's expression had turned oddly vacant. Lily guessed that it was because she hadn't revealed that information to anyone in a very long time and she was right. Without another word, Lizzie buried her face in Harry's soft hair and began to weep.

Tentatively Lily stepped towards her and pulled her into a cautious hug. "Gosh Lizzie, that really is a lot to deal with. Would it help to see Sirius and Jess again, do you think?"

"It sure would be nice," Elizabeth agreed softly, speaking more to herself than to Lily. "But much as I'd enjoy seeing them again, I need to see James first. I suddenly miss him so much it hurts."

She flinched as Lily's grip on her shoulder tightened for no apparent reason, but in her heart of hearts she knew then that something wasn't right. Nearly every time she had mentioned James so far, Lily's reaction had been abnormally extreme. Forcefully she pulled out of Lily's grasp, spun around to face her and demanded; "Alright that's it, somebody is going to tell me where James is by the count of three or else!"

"Liz, please calm down," Lily begged desperately as the younger girl's voice became louder with every word she spoke. She understood the teenager's frustration at being kept in the dark, but that didn't make it any easier for her to reveal the cold, hard truth of the matter.

"I will not calm down Lily! In the last letter I got from James he told me that Voldemort was after Harry and that the three of you were going to be placed under the Fidelius Charm to try and stay safe. I know what that monster is capable of; he single-handedly murdered both my parents in cold blood. So can you honestly blame me for worrying about the only family I have left, huh?"

"I don't blame you for worrying Lizzie, Merlin knows I'd be worried too if I was in your shoes right now," Lily attempted to reassure Elizabeth.

"I don't think you really understand Lily, if you did then you'd tell me why James isn't here," she retorted angrily.

"I'm was avoiding telling you for the simple reason that I don't want to be the one to hurt you Liz, James is never coming back, Voldemort murdered him," Lily finally snapped. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she spoke, such tactlessness wasn't in her nature at all, but Elizabeth's attitude had tested her last nerve.

"Mama," Harry wailed and began to squirm in Elizabeth's arms when he saw his mother crying. The minute Lily relieved Elizabeth of her son; the younger girl turned on her heel and fled, leaving Lily with a remorseful sensation in the pit of her stomach.

But before she could chase after the distraught teen, Lily heard Remus' voice behind her; "Let her go Lils, she's going to need some time alone to digest this." She turned to see him giving her a sympathetic smile and holding Neville in his arms; "You did nothing wrong Lily, there is no easy way to tell someone their loved one has died," he added, correctly interpreting her guilty expression.

"What is wrong with me? I've never acted so heartless in my life," Lily mumbled in disbelief.

"You're still in mourning and yet you had to tell her the bad news, it's completely normal," he replied firmly, trying to get rid of her guilt. "She'll forgive you for the forwardness when she's had time to cool off, trust me."

"I hope so," Lily whispered forlornly, with that she shut her eyes and prayed for the sadness she felt to end soon.


	16. Convincing Petunia

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the OC's and the plot!**

Alice' owl nibbled affectionately on her ear as she strode purposefully towards Privet Drive. She was trying not to think about how much was resting on this one rash decision to come here, but in actual fact, she was fully aware that Lily's friendship with her could very well end if her friend took this the wrong way.

The closer she got to number four, the more nervous she felt. She could only hope Petunia was in a cooperative mood. All too soon, the Dursley house loomed in front of her and she noted with relief that there was no car in the driveway. This was going to be difficult enough without the added influence of Vernon Dursley.

Lost in nervous thoughts, she reached the front door much sooner than she would have liked and braced herself, she knew what Petunia's general opinion of wizard's was and wasn't at all confident that the fact that she had donned Muggle clothing would help her cause very much, even if she was Lily's best friend.

With a deep breath she pulled together the courage that had placed her in Gryffindor house all those years ago, knocked at the door and waited. She grimaced at the shrieks coming from inside the house, which must have been issued by Lily's awful nephew; she had often described him as a spoilt brat. The angry bawling faded away eventually and Alice tensed when she heard footsteps hurrying towards the front door.

Seconds later the door swung open to reveal Petunia. She stared at the oddly familiar stranger on her doorstep for a moment and finally spoke; "Can I help you?"  
"Hello Petunia, you probably don't remember me, I'm Alice Longbottom, Lily's best friend."

It was only the fact that Petunia's eyes widened fearfully as she pulled her inside that gave her the courage to continue. "Listen, I don't know if Lily told you when her home was attacked on Halloween or that James didn't survive. Did she?"  
"Yes she did actually, but that doesn't explain why you're here," Petunia said after a prolonged silence. Alice heaved an involuntary sigh of relief at her words; at least she would be spared the task of giving Petunia the morbid details.

"I'm here to tell you that his funeral is going to be held tomorrow at our old school. Now before you say that information has nothing to do with you, just hear me out. Lily has been as good as a sister to me for more than a decade of my life and even though she's never actually said it, I know for a fact that it would mean the world to her if you came for the service. All she's ever wanted since your parents' murders is a better relationship with you, you know?"

For a moment after she had finished her speech, Petunia simply stared blankly at her, but then she said slowly; "I don't understand why she wants me there, I was so nasty to her for so long. The only good thing I've done for her in the past six years was comfort her just after James was killed and it isn't as if that one act erased everything I did in the past."

"The comfort you gave her that night is what has been keeping her going Petunia, familial support is worth a lot more than what I, or any of her other friends can offer her, and that is a fact of life. You might take for granted the shoulder you were giving her to cry on that night, but it helped her more than you know," Alice repeated patiently. The process of convincing Petunia was obviously going to take a while.

Meanwhile, back at St. Mungo's, a severe lack of oxygen forced Elizabeth to stop hurtling down corridors, trying as she had been to put considerable distance between herself and Lily. Unfortunately, the minute she stopped running, her thoughts jumped inevitably to her brother and the general injustice of the fact that she was facing the rest of her life without him.

Hoping that no Healer would pass this way and question her breaking down in the middle of a seemingly deserted corridor, Elizabeth slid to the ground with her back against the wall and cried. The fact that she was completely out of breath prevented her from sobbing outright, so all any passer-by would see would be a forlorn, hunched up figure.

That was exactly how the teenager was spotted approximately fifteen minutes later, by none other than Sirius. He was on his way back to Daniel's room after tanking some caffeine in the lunch room. Being Jessica's support system through this emotional time was far more draining than he had initially anticipated. Lost in thoughts as Sirius was, he would have walked right past her if he hadn't tripped over her marginally outstretched foot.

Elizabeth looked up with a start at the exact same moment as he turned around. Sirius was staring at her in much the same way as Tom had been when he first laid eyes on her at the inn. An odd sense of familiarity washed over him when he gazed into her hazel eyes, but it wasn't until she spoke that a large amount of his insecurity vanished.

Though she only said his name and quite softly at that, that single word spoke volumes about past times. In his shock at seeing her again, Sirius reverted to his special nickname for her without realizing it.

"Ellie, how in the name of Merlin did you wind up here?" Instead of answering the question, Elizabeth allowed him to pull her to her feet and engulfed him in a rib-crushing hug. A few minutes later, he heard her mumbling indistinctly into his shirt. Apprehensively he let go of her and asked gently; "Come again Ellie?"  
She acted like she hadn't even heard him, but unfortunately her rambling did become rather more discernible. "James is gone," she kept saying, each time giving Sirius the sensation he had swallowed a whole bucketful of ice cubes. Horrible visions of his best friends' dead body threatened to overwhelm him and he knew he had to do something about it quickly. Firmly he grabbed Elizabeth's hand and demanded; "Snap out of it Ellie, please!"


	17. Reunions

**Disclaimer: I own only this plot and the OC's!**

"Can you finish Daniel's examination on your own, Sara?" asked Andromeda after they had worked in silence for a while. Sara stopped injecting Blood Replenisher into Daniel's drip and met her gaze suspiciously; "I could, why do you ask?"

Andromeda nodded discreetly towards the far corner of the room and explained in a low voice; "I'd like to try and talk Jessica out of her misery. Haven't you noticed how much quieter she's become since Sirius left?"

Sara followed her gaze and frowned thoughtfully; "You're right, she has. I didn't really notice it before, but now that you mention it…,"

She trailed off awkwardly, but then her gaze fell on the latest notes of Daniel's vital signs and she added; "You know what, Andy? Tell her Dan will be waking up soon. His stats are looking really good and if fresh hope doesn't make her feel better, I don't know what will!"

Andromeda nodded, a thrilled smile spreading across her face, but as soon as soon as she turned away from the bed, her gaze was drawn almost magnetically to the corridor rather than towards Jessica. With a gasp she dashed towards the corner where Jessica sat huddled and shook her agitatedly.

The younger girl moaned and looked up with a scowl; "What is it now? This had better be good Andy," she snapped. Andromeda gestured mutely at the two figures in the corridor, not seeing it necessary to verbally elaborate upon her discovery.

Jessica's eyes, already nothing more than puffy slits due to the amount of crying she had done, narrowed even further when she realized what, or rather who, Andromeda was pointing at. "I don't believe him, what nerve," she snarled as she staggered to her feet and marched out the door to confront Sirius, who had his arms around the shoulders of a girl whose face she couldn't see.

"What do you think you're doing, Sirius? This girl sure doesn't look like _coffee_ to me," she yelled so loudly that Sara and Andromeda could hear her through the closed ward door. Sirius flinched; when she wanted to, Jessica could throw tempers to rival Lily's.

"Listen Jessie, this isn't what you think it is, I swear!" She glowered at him, her eyes were glinting in a manner that he didn't like one bit.

"Then would you care to explain what exactly is going on here?" she asked, her tone making it only too clear that she didn't believe him. Her frown deepened when the girl suddenly spoke, she was too furious for the vague familiarity of that voice to even register clearly.

"Trust is the foundation of all relationships Jessie, you should know that by now," the slightly reproachful tone of that voice tested Jessica's last nerve.

"Only my friends can call me Jessie," she hissed, the fact that the girl still hadn't shown her face only serving to aggravate her temper. "And I definitely don't count you as a friend!"

"Oh yeah, is that so?" the girl challenged in an infuriatingly innocent voice. Then she raised her head and as the two pairs of hazel eyes met, she demanded; "Look me straight in the eye and say again that I'm not your friend, go on I dare you!"

Needless to say, Jessica couldn't do that. She staggered backwards in shock and was forced to lean against the wall for support. "Lizzie? How can it be?"

Elizabeth smiled weakly; "I'm still getting used to being back among wizarding society myself," she admitted. "A lot has changed in the past three and a half years, that's why Sirius was gone for so long; he bumped into me and ended up filling me in on everything I've missed."

Jessica shook her head dazedly; she was having a hard time believing that Elizabeth was really standing before her. She had felt nearly as bad as James when they were told the younger girl was going to be sent to a Muggle orphanage after his parents were brutally murdered.

"Jess, are you okay?" Suddenly Jessica realized Elizabeth was looking at her in obvious concern. "You spaced out for a minute there," she pointed out.

Jessica shook her head to pull out of the memories and went slightly red; "Sorry, daydreaming is an old habit of mine. And a bad one too, I might add."

Before Elizabeth or Sirius could comment on that, Jessica was forced to take a hasty step away from the door to the ward, as it slid open. Andromeda emerged with a huge grin on her face; "Good news Jess, we gave Dan an extra shot of Blood Replenishing potion and it worked! He's awake but still quite weak, so if you want to talk, I suggest you come now!"

Jessica squeezed her eyes shut tightly, attempting quite unsuccessfully to hold back the tears of relief, but she didn't have her friends fooled for a minute. The minute Sirius took her hand and squeezed it lovingly, her façade of emotional strength crumbled and those tears spilled over.

"Go on Jessie, see I told you he would be fine," he whispered encouragingly, giving her a gentle nudge towards the door as he spoke.

Jessica's gaze however, lingered on Elizabeth; "We can catch up later, right?" she asked uncertainly, as if she still doubted how real the teenager was.

Elizabeth nodded with a reassuring smile; "Of course we can silly, I'm not going anywhere, I promise!"

Jessica couldn't help but look relieved as she hugged the younger girl fleetingly and then re-entered the ward, closely followed by Andromeda. The inside of the ward didn't even look very different to how it had fifteen minutes previously, save for the extremely important fact that Daniel's eyes were now wide open, two pools of hazel in his otherwise frighteningly pale face.

She resisted the urge to pounce on him with difficulty, the relief inside her was bubbling over by this time. With admirable restraint, she moved towards the bed and sat down beside him. For a moment neither spoke, both giving in to the awkwardness created by the years apart, but then Jessica decided to take the opportunity to let her pent-up emotions out.

"Don't ever scare me like that again, you idiot," she scolded, only half joking as one look at her face proved.

"I'm sorry Jess," he mumbled and she realized for the first time he was determinedly looking the other way. That apology was obviously intended for more than making her worry.

She walked around the foot of the bed, knelt down and asked hesitantly; "For what Danny? You know I was kidding about the scaring me thing earlier, right? Yes it wasn't a nice experience, but I don't blame you for getting hurt, okay?"

He nodded slowly; "I know that don't worry," he replied to Jessica's utter confusion. Luckily he elaborated without her asking; "I was apologizing for not protecting Nora better."

**A/N Posted on the one-year anniversary of the day I got an account on HPFF (24th January 2008), time flies!**


	18. Fallouts And Breaking News

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot, Lizzie, Daniel and Jessica!**

Despite the enormous lump that formed in her throat at his words, Jessica somehow managed to speak; "Don't you dare blame yourself for that Daniel Mariano, it was nobody's fault except the Death Eater who killed her," she told him, shaking her head fiercely.

"That's sweet Jessie, but you weren't there," he replied shakily. "I could have done more if it wasn't for that bloody Sectumsempra I got hit with from behind!"

Jessica pressed her hand over his mouth, tears now rolling steadily down her cheeks. "Shut up before I do something I'll regret," she advised him seriously. Then she turned and rushed back into the corridor, where Sirius and Elizabeth still stood, peering into the room through the transparent sliding door.

Her expression was a haunted one, as she stumbled blindly into Sirius' waiting arms. "What's the matter Jess, he is alright now, isn't he?" he asked softly, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Will you come in too?" she asked once she had finally calmed down enough to speak. "He - he's blaming himself for what happened to Nora and I can't deal with that alone right now!"  
"Honey, what am I here for? If you don't want to be alone with him in there, you don't have to, end of story."

She smiled gratefully; "Thanks Pads, that means a lot." He shook his head as if to say it was no big deal, but Jessica was no longer paying attention. She had noticed Elizabeth let go of Sirius' hand while the two of them had been talking, and the younger girl was now trying to slip away, unnoticed.

Sidestepping Sirius, she grabbed Elizabeth's wrist and spun her around; "Are you okay with this Liz? It would just be awkward if you came in, you know?"

Elizabeth nodded mutely; "Obviously it would, I'm okay really," she replied, trying not to let on how lost she felt when Sirius agreed to go with Jessica. "Actually I was thinking of tracking Lily down, we have a lot we need to talk about."

That, at least, was the truth. Their last meeting hadn't exactly gone well and she hoped Lily didn't get a bad first impression of her. She couldn't brood on her disgrace for too long however, suddenly she heard footsteps pounding down the corridor and a vaguely familiar voice agitatedly calling Sirius' name.

She turned while he reluctantly let go of Jessica and did the same. "What the-?" he spluttered. "Moony, what on earth are you doing here?"

Remus shook his head; "That's not important right now, it took me ages to convince Lily to take Harry and Neville back to Grimmauld Place and you need to come with me now! The funeral is tomorrow, remember?"

Sirius paled visibly at his words; "Oh crap, you're right," he muttered. Then he turned and gazed into Jessica's eyes, an apologetic expression which could mean nothing good, plastered on his face. She took a step back, attempting unsuccessfully to wipe the pleading expression from her face.

"What's going on Sirius?" she asked, cursing her pathetically shaky voice. He tried to reach out and hold her hand comfortingly, but then at least she had enough dignity to pull away.

"I'm really sorry Jess, Moony and I have a little surprise we're planning for Lily at the service tomorrow and we have to prepare it. I have to go, why don't you take Lizzie into the ward with you instead? That is, if you still need support."

"_If_ I still need support," she repeated incredulously. "Of course I do, stupid! Did you think I would be fine from one minute to the next? Then here's a newsflash for you buddy, that's not how grief works!"

She was losing control now and he could obviously sense it too, because he suddenly stopped trying to calm her down and simply retorted; "Don't you think I know exactly how you feel, Jessie? But much as I love you, this is about keeping a promise I made to James years ago, which I don't intend on breaking!"

Then he turned and stormed down the corridor, without a backwards glance. Remus flashed a sympathetic smile her way before following Sirius' lead. Jessica gazed after them, tears of regret cascading steadily down her cheeks. Suddenly she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and realized for the first time that Elizabeth was still standing behind her. Turning to face the teenager, she asked bitterly; "Aren't you leaving too? "

Elizabeth merely shook her head and replied; "Didn't I tell you I wasn't going to leave? Well, in case you haven't noticed, I meant it. I realize I'm not as much of a comfort to you as Sirius would be, but I'll do my best, seeing as he can't be in two places at once. Just please remember one thing Jessie, your blood sister may be dead, but I am not, alright? You always treated me like a younger sister when we were kids, so I hope you'll let me be there for you now. What do you say?"

Instead of saying something, Jessica put her head in her hands and cried harder than ever, clearly overwhelmed by how much Elizabeth cared about her. She felt Elizabeth's hands on her back, firmly steering her back into Daniel's room.

Meanwhile, at the Dursley household, Petunia finally managed to put her son to sleep, when her hopes of having some time alone to think about what Alice Longbottom had said to her earlier that day, were crushed by Vernon's homecoming.

She listened in silence to her husband's usual rant about his co-workers' general incompetence, desperately waiting for a good opening to mention Alice' visit. Eventually she realized that he wouldn't stop listing Grunnings' flaws anytime soon, and so cut in tentatively; "You'll never guess who I got a visit from today."

At his curious expression she swallowed nervously, hoping it hadn't been a mistake to mention "Lily's lot" as Vernon liked to call all wizards. Then she began to recount her extraordinary day.


	19. Losing The Spark

**Disclaimer: I own only Lizzie, Jess and the plot!**

The day of the memorial service dawned, the first truly wintry day of the season. The atmosphere inside number twelve Grimmauld Place reflected the weather conditions a little too well. After their sons were fed and dressed, Alice watched Lily unenthusiastically push her scrambled egg from one side of her plate to the other, without ever directing the spoon to her mouth.

But even though her eyes were trained on her friend, Alice's mind was on Petunia and why she hadn't returned Sparky yet. Even if she had decided that she didn't want to come, the least she could have done was tell the owl to leave.

Consumed by frustrated musings, Alice got to her feet and moved around the table. Somehow she managed to hide her inner irritation, as she laid a hand on Lily's shoulder and quickly came up with a white lie to excuse the fact that she was leaving early; "Lily, I'll see you at Hogwarts later, alright? Neville and I are going to pay Frank a little visit before the service. You had better eat your egg now, you don't want to go to a funeral on an empty stomach, trust me."

Lily just nodded miserably and laid her head in her hands, seconds before Alice picked her son up from the living room and left the house, leaving her alone. Alice felt a stab of guilt for leaving her friend alone at a time like this, but deep down she knew that it was for Lily's own benefit that she was doing this. She sure as hell wasn't doing Petunia any great favour; the woman had really ticked her off with her indecency.

She Apparated to Magnolia Crescent and decided to walk around the block to Privet Drive, not wanting to draw attention to herself. Hoisting Neville more snugly in her arms, Alice made her way towards the Dursley's house, unaware of the turn for the worse her life was about to take.

Number four was just coming into view down the street, when the early morning calm was shattered by the unmistakable bang of a gunshot. Although startled by the sound, Alice hugged her son even more tightly to ease his fright and continued to approach the Dursley house. But as she got closer to the clump of trees opposite number four, Alice distinctly heard a feeble hoot, too feeble. The sound frightened her even more than the gunshot itself had. _'Sparky? No, it can't be!' _she thought frantically as she began to run towards the thicket.

Petunia knelt in the damp moss next to the injured owl, inwardly cursing Vernon's intolerance of so much as an animal remotely related to Lily's world. Unfortunately, she had mentioned the owl's presence to her husband the previous evening, only to be awoken by a gunshot this morning. Vernon's acceptance of everything she had told him yesterday had obviously been put on and now he had conveniently left for work, leaving her to fix this mess before Alice found out what had happened to her beloved pet.

Petunia closed her eyes in dread, when, as if on cue, she heard twigs snapping as someone pushed their way through the dense trees behind her. If that was Alice, she had probably heard the gunshot earlier. Sure enough, the next thing she heard was the witches voice, oozing with the utmost dislike; "What the _hell_ happened, Dursley?"

After inhaling deeply, Petunia opened her eyes warily and turned around. Alice spared her one furious glare and then pushed past her to kneel next to Sparky. The owl's breast was covered in dried blood and his feathers were bedraggled. His beady, brown eyes were half closed and he was no longer moving. Alice felt her heart break into a thousand tiny pieces as Neville nudged the bird with a chubby finger and whimpered; "Sparky uppy."

"Sweetie, don't do that. Sparky's gone to heaven to be with Gran, okay?" Alice felt the unshed tears burning in her eyes even as she pulled Neville away from the owl. She took a steadying breath and turned to face Petunia again; suppressing with difficulty the hatred she felt when their gazes met.

"Alice, I'm so sorry," Petunia mumbled softly, ignoring the discomfort Alice' intense glare was providing her with.  
"You should be," Alice snapped. "Lily told me you have no tolerance for anything related to our kind, but this is murder! I know you didn't actually pull the trigger, but I don't understand how you could let your husband do such a thing. "

Once she had exhausted her anger Alice' grief came to the forefront. Salty tears blurred her vision and she could only tell that Petunia had retreated into her house by the slight rustling of the late autumn leaves on the ground. _'Let her go,' _she thought bitterly. _'It isn't as if her presence will bring Sparky back. First Mum and Frank and now Sparky, dear Merlin how is this fair?'_

Meanwhile, the perpetual silence at Grimmauld Place was finally interrupted when a burst of green flames flared in the fireplace. Lily, who had been fiddling absently with Harry's scruffy hair, just to give herself something to do, looked up and flashed the two new arrivals a tiny smile. Standing before her were Jessica and Elizabeth. Jess was holding the teenager's hand and judging by Lizzie's nauseated expression, she hadn't used the Floo network too often in the past.

"Hi girls," Lily greeted the pair with fake cheerfulness. "Lizzie, was that your first time using the Floo? You look like you're going to be sick any minute."  
Elizabeth nodded vaguely; "It wasn't my first time, but close enough. We would have Apparated home, but I don't have a license and Jessie was too weak to Apparate herself let alone helping me. That's why we were holding hands in the fireplace; she's too stubborn to admit it, but all that worrying about her brother has all but done her in. Take a look!"

So Lily looked and was startled by what she saw. The only spots of colour in Jessica's face were the dark circles under her eyes and the hand which wasn't linked with Lizzie's was shaking uncontrollably. Even as Lily watched, her friend's eyes rolled back into her head and she collapsed unconscious to the ground.


	20. Guilt And Secrets

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot and the OC's!**

"Andromeda, please don't make me do this," Carla Andrews begged fruitlessly. Her boss had appeared out of nowhere, just as she was getting ready to leave the hospital. Never in all her time as an intern had Carla been so reluctant to follow orders. She felt selfish when she saw Andromeda's exhausted expression but the fear of the task at hand remained ever present.

Her boss could obviously tell what she was thinking, because she said comfortingly; "Stop worrying Carla, I can guarantee he won't blame you for how the operation turned out. At a time like this, it's a friendly face that works wonders, that's all."  
"How can you be sure?" she asked nervously. "I mean, sure we were friends at Hogwarts because we were Heads together, but things might be different in light of recent events, right?"

While she had been arguing her case, they had reached the Order Casualty Ward. Andromeda stopped in front of the sliding door and turned to face the younger girl once more; "Things between the two of you will only be tense and awkward if you let them, Carla," she said wisely. "All you have to do is provide moral, friendly support and help ease the survivor's guilt. It's gotten worse since Jessica left, I think he's worried about her and it's not doing him any good, you know?"

Carla nodded against her will; "I can't refuse when you put it like that. I'll try and talk him, but there's one condition."  
Andromeda raised her eyebrows sceptically; "What might that be?"  
Carla grinned; "You have to go home and get some sleep right now! You've been on your feet practically all night."  
Andromeda smiled wearily; "I'm not going to argue with that one, I'll get going as soon as you go in there." She pointed beyond the sliding door triumphantly; after all, she had just successfully talked Carla into facing her biggest, most irrational fear.

Carla frowned slightly; "All right, all right you win," she gave in at last and pushed the door open. "Goodnight Andy, wish me luck."  
"You're making a mountain out of a molehill Carla, just go for it," her boss advised as she left.

Once she had passed through the sliding door, it seemed all too soon that Carla found herself standing in front of Daniel's room. _'It's official Carla Andrews; you have been possessed by an irrationally nervous spirit,' _she thought to herself in disgust. _'This is nothing more or less than cowardice. Get over it!'_

Once she had finished giving herself a stern lecture, the young intern finally entered Daniel's room. If such a thing were possible, she felt even more selfish when she laid eyes on him. Daniel was staring into space in complete silence, radiating such obvious signs of guilt and misery it was almost painful to watch. "Surprise," she said softly and moved closer to the bed.

She fought back a smile at the shocked look on his face when he saw her standing there. "Carla? No way! What are you doing here?"  
"Well, apart from the fact that I work here I thought you could probably use a friend," she explained gently.

He smiled, but she could tell immediately that it was a forced gesture. "Come on Dan, you know there are no formalities with me. The sooner you get the guilt and whatever else you're feeling out of your system, the sooner you can go home. A guilty conscience won't help towards a speedy recovery and that's a fact." She paused and deliberated her next words before adding; "And that includes whatever you felt like you couldn't say in front of Jessica."

He gasped; "Carla, are you a Healer or a mind reader? You just hit the nail on the head!"  
"It's all in my job description Daniel, besides, I did learn a thing or two about how you tick in the year we were Heads together. I know how much your family means to you, especially your sisters. I also know how responsible you feel for the pain Jess is going through and that is essentially why I am here. To convince you that Nora's death is as much your loss as it is Jessica's and that it was not your fault."

She looked into his eyes when she had finished her little speech, trying to figure out if anything she had said made an impact on him. He didn't say anything for quite some time, evidently processing her words very slowly. Carla waited in silence for a reaction, knowing it would come eventually.

When Daniel finally met her gaze, it was his anguished expression which really caught her attention; she had obviously hit a nerve. She gulped, it was time to face the reason she had been so nervous to visit her closest friend. "Danny, if you promise to stop blaming yourself for what happened to Nora, I'll let you in on a little secret," she promised before she had time to lose her nerve.

He laughed humourlessly; "No offence Carly, but I highly doubt you have a secret that will help me feel better about myself right now."  
"Try me," she challenged boldly, surprising even herself. It was almost as if the sight of her best friend verging on depression had banished all the fear she had felt not so long ago.  
"Alright, go ahead," he surrendered sceptically.

"How much of the whole battle do you remember?" she began awkwardly. She didn't want to re-cap more than absolutely necessary.  
He shrugged wearily; "I don't remember much after being hit with the Sectumsempra to be honest with you," he admitted. "The battle was at Hogwarts and my last vivid memory is of Nora getting hit with a Stunner. Her body rolled towards the Whomping Willow before anyone could revive her and it basically bashed her up. I tried to reach her before the tree's branches could and got hit in the back with the Sectumsempra because I wasn't paying the rest of the battle any attention. I collapsed and only remember intense pain before everything went black."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. Carla was surprised he remembered so much to begin with, but she didn't voice this thought.  
He wasn't about to let her off the hook so easily anyway; "So, what's your big secret?"

Carla froze, the nerves returned in full force at that simple question. Cursing her cowardice she stared at her feet and mumbled; "I helped operate on Nora when Remus brought you both in. Like you said, the tree wounded her terribly but I still feel like she might have pulled through if someone more experienced had assisted Healer Abbott with the surgery."

Once Carla had revealed her side of the story, her own guilt became overwhelming. She found herself unable to look Daniel in the eye, unable to face the inevitable pain and anger she expected of him right now. She turned away from him, furiously blinking back hot tears and made to leave the awkward scene.

"Carly wait." She stopped in her tracks, just short of the door. To hear Daniel sounding so calm was not the outcome she had been expecting at all.  
Slowly she turned to face him and said shakily; "How can you take news like that so easily? You have every right to hate my guts right now. I practically murdered your sister!"

Staring straight into her eyes, still with that unnervingly calm expression, he reached for her hand and whispered; "Carly, I don't blame you for what happened and I never will. You're my best friend and I know you did your best for Nora. I just wanted to let you know how much your visit has helped me as well. You saved me from serious depression by coming when you did, so thanks."

"You're welcome," she replied. "I feel silly for being so nervous to visit now; I had the idea in my head that you would hate me for the surgery's failure."  
She shook her head at her own foolishness and he laughed incredulously; "Carla Andrews, you are insane!"

Before she could respond, Carla's pager beeped shrilly. She pulled it reluctantly from her pocket and read in shock; _'Lily and Elizabeth just brought Jessica in unconscious. Meet me in my office and don't tell Daniel whatever you do! Sara'_


	21. Corridor Comfort

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot and my OC's!**

"Honestly Dromeda, what was the point of your coming home if you can't stop thinking about the hospital anyway?" asked Ted in a frustrated whisper. Andromeda bit her lip and steered him silently away from their daughter's bedroom door.

"I'm sorry honey, I just can't shake off the feeling that something's wrong over there. Sara is the only fully qualified Healer still on duty and I just think I might have given Carla a bigger job than she can handle," she explained as she led the way down the stairs to the living room. As if to prove her point, the first thing to catch their attention when they reached downstairs was an owl, tapping against the closed window with an air of urgency.

Dread flooded the pit of her stomach and Andromeda had quite possibly never been gladder for Ted's presence. He let the tiny, soaked bird into the shelter of the house and quickly shut the window again. Then he turned, just in time to see the colour in his wife's face drain away entirely as she scanned the little note. "At least my instinct was right," she said shakily. "Poor Carla is in way over her head out there."

Ted kissed the top of her head and said in resignation; "I know you're very close to her, go ahead and help her out, love. I have everything under control here."  
"Thank you for understanding," she murmured gratefully. A quick hug and peck on the cheek later, she was spinning in a flurry of green flames.

In what seemed like no time at all, she spun to a stop in the hospital lobby's fireplace. Stepping out onto the spotless marble floor, she caught sight of Carla leaning dejectedly against the, at this hour, deserted receptionist's desk across the room. In quick strides, she reached her side and asked quietly; "How are you holding up?"

With huge tears rolling down her cheeks, Carla mutely shook her head. "I'm sorry for calling you back Andy, but I couldn't go to Sara after disobeying her orders. She-she didn't want me to tell Danny about Jessica, but I couldn't lie to him. I just couldn't!"  
"Shush, Carla, it's alright. When I got home I realized I might have put too much weight on your shoulders and I'm sorry, too. As to the issue with Jess, I personally think you did the right thing by being honest. How did he take it?"

Carla jabbed the button to call the elevator ferociously, just to avoid answering the question at once, desperate to put off the moment when she would have to think about how shocked and upset Daniel had looked when she told him the bad news. "It was a nightmare," she said sadly.

"His blood transfusion had just about run its course and I was about to take the needle and stuff out when Sara paged me. Of course he noticed at once that something wasn't right and wanted to know what the problem was. We've been friends for far too long for him to believe anything but the truth and that was the problem." Andromeda nodded sympathetically, just as they reached the correct floor and Carla concluded her explanation simply with a, by this time, well-known fact; "I can't lie to Danny, he always knows."

"That's the price of a good friendship, secrets are impossible," agreed Andromeda, as they passed through the sliding door. Almost as if crossing this particular threshold had struck them dumb, silence fell abruptly. Carla had eyes only for Daniel, while Andromeda automatically followed his horrified gaze through the observation window of Jessica's room. But unlike him, she relaxed her stance when Jessica twitched in her sleep. She was fine; exhausted, but fine.

She entered the girl's room, just as Carla was about to begin her latest pep talk. The fact that she wasn't stuck in the middle of this crisis alone anymore had given her fresh confidence, it seemed. She laced her slender fingers through his and stood in observatory silence, wondering how to phrase her thoughts. Before she could decide what to say first, he cut into her internal ramblings in a disbelieving voice. "Jessie's not going for the service."

It was painfully obvious how much trouble he was having getting his mind around the idea. Carla twirled a strand of her straight, blonde hair around her finger, an old nervous habit. She wasn't prepared for the breakdown, which wasn't far off, as his glassy, overly bright eyes plainly told her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jessica move again. It was the sight of Andromeda's relieved expression that told her it was for good this time.

"Look at that, she's okay you know?" she pointed out excitedly, to no response. Then it hit her that she'd been so busy watching Jessica that she hadn't even noticed Daniel let go of her hand. Apprehensively she turned to see him leaning hard against the opposite wall, looking as pale as any ghost she had ever seen. Quickly she moved towards him and asked anxiously; "Hey, are you feeling okay?"

He nodded absently, but added so quietly that she nearly missed it; "I can't do this Carly, it's obvious to us that Jess can't go anywhere now, including the service, but how to tell her that? As with any siblings, they had their differences, but at the end of the day Nora meant the world to her. "  
Carla shook her head in exasperation; "Now you listen to me, mister! How Jessica learns that she's going to miss her sister's funeral should be the least of your concerns, alright? Why do you think I called Andromeda in the first place? She's here to break the bad news to Jess like no one else can. Just talk to her after Andromeda is done in there and then look after yourself for once, please!"

Carla finished her stern speech with a little smirk, pleased that she had stunned him into silence at long last. _'Possibly more than stunned silence,' _she mused, when he pulled her petite figure into a rib-cracking hug and pressed his head down against her shoulder. Something inside him had apparently snapped at her firm words. Tactfully she ignored the steady flow of tears soaking through her shirt and squeezed him hard instead.

What seemed like an eternity later, but was in reality a few minutes at best, he straightened up and wiped one hand shakily across his eyes. Then he faced her with an awkward, apologetic smile. "Sorry about that, I just-"  
"Oh, shut up," she cut him of fondly. "If it had been anybody else, I would have said it's my job, but for you it's a pleasure. The only context in which what just happened could be considered a chore, is if it's looked at as a duty between friends, are we clear?"  
"Okay," he nodded, a little too quickly for her liking; there was obviously still something he wasn't saying.

Hesitantly she laid a hand on his shoulder and asked gently; "Why do I get the feeling there's more to Nora's death than you're letting on?"  
"Maybe because there is," he muttered darkly, annoyed by her superb intuition. Healers in general had brilliant instincts and their closeness was definitely working in her favour at the moment.

Carla watched helplessly as he turned and stared fixedly through the glass at Jessica after that gloomy proclamation. She didn't want to push him, but sensed that whatever else had happened during the battle was the root of his problem. They were back where they started, watching Jessica and Andromeda in subdued silence. She stood quietly, holding his hand as a gesture of support rather than spouting meaningless words, however well intended they might have been, and hoped that he would willingly confide in her.

Even though Jessica had his undivided attention, Daniel could feel Carla's relentless, penetrating gaze on him. It was that, combined with the heart-broken expression that crossed Jessica's face seconds later, which finally drove him to speak. "Carly, did I ever tell you why I always treated Jess and Nora as if they were my actual siblings instead of just cousins?"  
"I don't think so," she admitted. "Though I have noticed many people who don't know your family well get quite confused by the relationship you three shared."

He smiled grimly; "Their confusion was for good reason. Cousins aren't generally as close as the three of us always were. People who knew us well enough went along with it when we referred to each other as brother and sisters because they knew the story behind it. Come to think of it, you started going along with it too, didn't you?"  
Carla nodded, looked slightly confused; "When we first became friends I never used to, then I realized how much it upset you when I called you all cousins, so I joined the trend without really thinking about it. Am I about to find out why it used to upset you so much?"

He took a deep breath and nodded slowly; "Yeah, I reckon it's about time I let you in on the secret. So for starters, Nora and Jess are actually my cousins, our mothers were sisters. But the thing is I do in fact have two proper sisters, twins Jenny and Anna. Or at least I did, before Jasper corrupted their minds when they were nineteen."  
At that, Carla finally raised a hand to silence him; her mind was reeling with the new information. "Merlin, Danny, slow down! Talk about information overload," she said with half a smile. "So, um...first things first, the bit about twin sisters who are really your sisters I get, but who's Jasper?"

He scowled, so obviously angered by the mere mention of the name, that Carla almost wished she had never said anything. Eventually he elaborated moodily; "Jasper Mariano is, unfortunately, my father."

Ignoring her shocked gasp, he continued; "There are big age differences in our family, the smallest is the one year separating Jessie and I. The twins and I are twelve years apart, I was seven years old when Jasper entered the twins into You Know Who's service, it turned out he had always been a supporter. Mum and I never saw any of them again until somehow they got wind of Nora's wedding in 1977."

"Nora's wedding?" Carla repeated stupidly. She found it difficult to imagine the serious young woman in her memory as a bride.  
"Yes, Nora's wedding," he re-confirmed, unperturbed by her obvious surprise. "Their father had already passed away by then, so Jasper offered to walk her down the aisle. Aunt Vivian had her reservations about him getting involved but my mother convinced her he was sincerely trying to help. She was blinded by her lasting feelings for him, despite how he had led the twins down the path of evil all those years ago."

"What happened then?" Carla asked cautiously. The dark turn the conversation had taken was overwhelming.  
"What do you think?" he muttered sarcastically. "His bullshit story of great remorse for what he had put her through convinced my mother he meant well and she managed to convince Aunt Vivian and Nora. The day of the wedding he used his inside position to let his Death Eater pals into the church at Godric's Hollow and only Jess, Nora and I made it out of there alive that day. Mum and Aunt Vivian both died in hospital afterwards and Nora's fiancé was killed there and then."

"Oh gosh, that's awful," said Carla fervently when he had finished. Under normal circumstances, she was the sort of person who would find it amusing that her best friend had confided his most personal secret to her while they were standing in a hospital corridor, but instead, words failed her at that moment. She watched him brood in silence for a while and then asked; "At the risk of sounding like a complete moron, I have to ask: What does all of that have to do with Nora's death?"

"It's not a moronic question," he assured her, but she couldn't help but notice that he sounded distant and was frowning deeply besides. She rubbed his arm comfortingly and was about to say something when he finished his trail of thought. "Do you remember me telling you that someone Stunned Nora at the battle at Hogwarts, making her roll off towards the Whomping Willow?" he asked her.  
Confused, Carla nodded; "Yeah, but what-?"

"I'm coming to that," he cut her off impatiently. Then he closed his eyes, as if the mere thought of what he was about to say was causing him physical pain. Carla stuck to her policy of not forcing information out of him and waited, until he opened his eyes again and they were, once more, glistening with unshed tears.

The second she touched his cheek soothingly, the final dam burst and he choked out; "Anna shot that Stunner at Nora, the bitch killed her own cousin!"  
That was beyond anything she had expected, but before Carla could even begin to express her shock, Andromeda re-joined them in the corridor. Almost as if she could sense that major confessions had happened even out there while she had consoled Jessica, she said apologetically; "Daniel, Jess wants to have a word with you."

**A/ N Longest chapter to date! Makes the long wait worth it I hope. ;)**


	22. Fallen Pillars And Potter Wisdom

**Disclaimer: This plot and OC's = mine / everything you recognize from a published book = J.K Rowling!**

At Andromeda's words, Daniel immediately shot Carla a desperate, helpless look. She knew how sad and tired she must have looked by this time, but refused to loosen her soothing grip on his hands despite that. The gentle pressure was obviously the only thing preventing a complete meltdown.

"I'm doomed," he moaned. "What on earth am I supposed to tell her, Carly?" he asked, gazing so intently at her that one might think the answer was written on her forehead.  
"Well," she began carefully, "I wouldn't recommend coming out with what you told me earlier, not today at least. Eventually that's something she deserves to know, but for now I'd just let her know that you're going for the service if I were you." She stared at him long and hard when she was finished; "Danny really, do I have to remind you to breathe again?" she asked slightly irritably.

"Oh shoot," he gasped and grimaced in mild humiliation. "Sorry, I guess the thought of how this conversation could end is getting to me," he admitted.  
"It's going to be just fine, you'll see," a second voice reassured him gently from behind. It was Andromeda this time, speaking for the first time since she had re-joined them. Daniel took one look at Carla's expression and could visualize the firm motion the older Healer was making with her eyes in the direction of Jessica's room door, even though she wasn't in his line of vision herself.

There was a slight creak and he knew Andromeda had opened the sliding door separating the three of them from Jessica, even before Carla hugged him supportively and whispered a good luck wish in his ear. He closed his eyes nervously against her shoulder for a split second, then took a deep breath and turned to face the pain once and for all.

Jessica was sitting in silence on the bed, hugging her knees tightly, and didn't so much as look up when the door clicked shut behind him. Daniel resisted the urge to glance over his shoulder where Carla and Andromeda stood watching his every move from the hallway. This part was his job and his only, as difficult as it may be.  
"Why?" a small voice cut into his internal struggle. His gaze snapped back to the bed and it felt instantly as if his heart were melting like a piece of wax. Jessica was staring at him now, those warm, loving, hazel eyes, so like his own, asking him a question he had no answer to. Why did she have to miss her sister's funeral of all things?

As he took in her heart-broken expression, the sheer intensity of her stare seemed to glue him to the spot. The look she was giving him was hurt and questioning, not really of help to his own ever present sensation of guilt. Eventually he bit his lip hard; the self-inflicted pain was the only thing that got his feet moving again.  
"This is so unfair," she whispered when he was finally seated beside her on the bed. He barely had time to nod numbly in agreement before she turned around and hesitantly rested her head on his knees.

"I'm going for the service," he said much more confidently than he felt, probably because Jessica started crying again the instant his hands absently began stroking her hair, much like the days she cried as a little girl. "Come on Jessie, please stop!" he begged.  
Slowly she sat up and turned to look at him, still with single tears streaking down her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she murmured, "It just hurts so much, you know?"

"Jess honestly, who on earth knows better than I do, huh? It happened in front of me, remember?" he retorted. Her self-pity was grating on his already strained nerves.  
Jessica bit her lip regretfully; the tension between them was unusually extreme due to the circumstances. Hating herself, she said slowly; "You know what really scares me?"

"What?" he asked indifferently, on the verge of another breakdown even without her drama. He hardly felt her arms wrap themselves around his shoulders.  
"It scares me to see you this upset," she said quietly. "I don't have any really horrid memories from when I was little because you and Nora always protected me from pain, the baby sister that I was." She smiled sadly; "I only have a vague memory of the day your Dad left, but in my twenty-one years that's probably the only time I've seen you cry, until today."

"Jess, please don't go there," he protested faintly, shocked that she was bringing that aspect of the past up at a time like this.  
But Jessica was evidently determined to put everything on her mind into words here and now. "You were the only one who stayed calm and strong the day your Dad and the twins crashed Nora's wedding, remember?" she continued seriously. The tears welling up in her eyes spilled over as she told him; "In the hospital that night your Mum's condition was just as critical as ours, but you still sat with Nora and I the whole night." She grimaced; "We would have suffered a lot more if you hadn't been there, you know?"

"That night has nothing to do with today, except for the fact that it is another one of the tragedies of our past," he snapped, before he could stop himself. "I love you Jessie, but you can be so random sometimes, it's seriously infuriating! You can't even begin to imagine how much worse this battle was than the one at the church back in 1977, so please don't even bother trying."

The ticking clock on the wall opposite her bed sounded a hundred times louder to Jessica when Daniel fell silent and looked away, clearly more than a little upset. Vaguely she registered that his outburst had even shocked her tears into non-existence. Nervously she watched as he pressed his hands over his eyes and began breathing slowly in and out. For a few minutes she just watched his attempts to calm himself in silence.

Sadly, she realized that she had been telling the truth when she'd told him it scared her to see him this depressed. It felt as if the last Order had taken more than her older sister's life. It had knocked down both her pillars of strength by smashing just one to smithereens. _'My family is a living example of two birds taken down with one stone,' _she thought dejectedly.  
"Why didn't you just eat and sleep normally last night instead of worrying about me so much?" Daniel muttered suddenly, interrupting her musings. "At least then you wouldn't have passed out and could have come today. I can't do this alone Jessica. As you very well know, Nora was a lot more to me than just a sister; she was also one of my best friends."

Jessica nodded uncomfortably; it was as if he had read her thoughts. Before she could do more than that however, the sliding door suddenly opened again. Looking extremely sorry to interrupt, Carla stepped into view and said; "Um, sorry guys but I was wondering if you're done talking things out yet? For one thing the service isn't endless and..." here she trailed off and looked pointedly at Jessica. "Elizabeth just came back, she's pretty upset about something but keeps insisting she only wants to see you."

"What!" Jessica spluttered in shock, but Carla was already ignoring her again in Daniel's favour. It barely hit home when he gently kissed her cheek and walked out without another word.  
As soon as the door shut behind them, Carla began to vent her irritation; "Ugh! No offense mate, but that Jess is just too much for me sometimes. It annoys me no end how hard she pushes you even at a time like this, it really does."

He forced a smile and said insistently; "Hey, calm down Carly, that's just the way she is, I'm used to it. She means well."  
"She's just damn selfish, she looks at this like it's her loss and nobody else's," Carla noted angrily. Two minutes later the mild display of temper had pretty much blown over, mainly due to the soothing massage Dan had automatically subjected her shoulders to at the first signs of a rant.

"What a night," she groaned, gently flexing her fingers and rubbing the pressure points behind her ears. She managed to stifle a massive yawn at the look of misery on Daniel's face and tentatively squeezed his hand as she had earlier on. He looked like he was hesitating to say something so she asked; "Apart from the fact that the time has come to say goodbye to Nora, is something wrong?"  
He stared at her in amazement; "How the hell do you do that, Andrews?"

"Intuition my friend, pure intuition," she grinned but persisted; "Seriously though, what's on your mind?"  
He fumbled for words for a minute, then asked slowly; "Would you mind terribly, you know, coming along for the service?"  
An understanding expression crossed her face and Carla hugged him and nodded at the exact same time. "Of course I will," she promised. "There's no way you have to go through that alone, absolutely no way!"

He was still holding her close when Andromeda's voice drifted down the corridor towards them, mingled with a second, disturbingly hysterical one. "Yes I'm sure about this and I know the consequence, Andromeda! Just please let me talk to Jess," the younger girl was begging rather desperately.  
Vaguely aware of Carla watching him with wide eyes, Daniel dodged around her and hesitantly touched the teen's shoulder. "Elizabeth, right?" he asked gently.  
Elizabeth tensed visibly and whipped around with a startled expression on her familiar young face. Surprisingly, despite how upset she had sounded not two minutes ago, her eyes were completely dry.

Before he could properly marvel the fact that anyone could sound so distraught without shedding a tear, a spark of recognition lit her almond-shaped eyes. "Yes, you look better as well," she remarked. "Daniel isn't it?"  
"Yeah," he nodded uncomfortably; "I probably look better but feel worse on the inside, that's the way it goes I suppose. Still, as far as appearance is concerned, getting rid of the drip is a definite improvement."

"I think so." Elizabeth's smile was forced, much like each of his own had been ever since Nora's death.  
"Did you want to talk to Jess?" he asked reluctantly. "Even she's pretty down in the dumps about not being able to attend the memorial service, but I couldn't get through to her at all the way I feel right now. I really hate it when she cries and I can't help the pain."

At the depressing vibe he was generating, Elizabeth felt her own sorrow and needs surreptitiously take a back seat. Almost as if the common sensations of grief and loss were guiding her, she said confidently; "That's ridiculous, even if it didn't seem like it, the fact is you helped her by just being there. I have no doubt she feels just as guilty for having to miss the memorial service, because it means you going through it without her support. She loves you Dan; one just had to see how hard she took it when you were unconscious last night for that much to be totally obvious."

She paused for breath and observed his disbelieving frown with interest, wondering if she would be able to say out loud the sentence swirling around painfully in her mind. He was staring at her, as if processing her words, seemingly surprised that something so profound could come from a girl who hardly knew him.  
It seemed like an eternity later that Elizabeth bravely broke the silence. In a sad, barely audible whisper she said; "I'll tell you how I know that you are one of the most important people in Jessica's life and it's not because of the evidence."

"Evidence?" he repeated curiously.  
"I already told you how worried she was about you last night," Elizabeth pointed out dismissively. "But I know how much she cares, not because of last night, but because you both-,"  
She closed her eyes and gulped, wanting to help ease Daniel's pain was easier thought about than done, this conversation was about to become very personal.

"Because we both what?" he prompted gently.  
When she opened her eyes and slowly looked up at him again, he could almost see her past's demons behind the hazel eyes that had suffered more in the past seventeen years than anyone should have to. He was beginning to realize why Jessica cared so much about this girl when her voice cut into his thoughts, letting on for the first time how broken her spirit truly was. "You both remind me of how James and I used to be before our parents were killed. Their funeral changed my life for the worse, something I honestly wouldn't have thought possible."


End file.
